The Inescapable Truth about CHILDHOOD

The Inescapable Truth about CHILDHOOD May 3, 2016

No matter where we go or what we do on Earth, we can’t escape it. It’s constantly ticking away–TIME.
We’re early. We’re late. We say things like, “You’re ahead of your time” and “Get with the Times.” It’s an inseparable part of us.

I think we become more aware of time once we’re raising and teaching children. We’ve been getting older since the day we were conceived, but it’s hard to notice how we are changing when we’re the midst of it. But, it’s different with kids. We watch time aggressively tick away one milestone, one birthday, one boo boo, one graduation, and even one pet burial at a time.

Recently, our precious Guinea pig, named “Brave,” passed away. The children gave her that name because she was literally the only piggie that didn’t run away from our rambunctious boys at the pet store. We knew she had aged and wasn’t acting like her energetic, squeally self, and we were all well aware of her impending death.

But, when I came home and saw her lifeless body nessled up next to her little playhouse, I felt the finality of our time with her. And, it hit me harder than I was expecting. My heart sank, and I started bawling. I cried and cried as I thought about how I was going to tell our 9 year-old, Connor, who had always played with her and fed her carrots every day.

I waited on the front porch for Connor to get off the bus. All I could do was stare at him off in the distance, and I prayed that God would give me the right words as he came closer. At one point, he smiled and yelled, “Hi Mommy!” I waved at him and told him to come to me. His facial expression changed when he saw that I had been crying. When he asked me what was wrong, I told him that Brave had passed away. He quickly ran to her cage to see her. He reached down to touch her and felt how stiff her body had become. Tears began streaming down his face, and he put his arms around me as he cried.

He was heart-broken as we prepared to bury her little body in the back yard. She was our boys’ first and only pet. We had her for four years, and the boys loved her—especially Connor.  She had been the surprising center of attention at the boys birthday parties, and she was a neighborhood celebrity among the kids.  We bathed her, got special veggies and toys for her, and gave her frequent back massages to hear her sweet Guinea pig purr.  But, most of all, we just loved her.

Dear Mother with the Strong-Willed Child: An Open Letter

 

My husband gathered the kids and said the 23rd Psalm as he laid her down in her burial spot beside our trampoline. He talked about Brave being a sweet pet, and we each shared our favorite memory of her. Through his tears, Connor talked about how much fun he had with Brave and ended with saying, “I think Brave had a good life. I think she was a happy Guinea pig with us.” I think he was right.  Connor placed a special stone on top of the grave, and that was it.  Brave was now but a memory–a very special childhood pet.

That night, I talked to my husband about Brave, and once again, I couldn’t help but cry. I even told my husband that I couldn’t understand why Brave’s death had been so upsetting to me.  He gave me the most compassionate look as I ugly-cried over Brave.  Then, he said,

“Ashley, I think you are sad that Brave passed away, but I think you’re also sad about the reality that a part of their childhood has passed too.”

I had never thought about it that way, but he was so right.

As parents, we get up every day and do what needs to be done.  And, it’s so easy to get lost in the busyness and daily grind of it all. But, every now and then God gives us little reminders that this life is short and childhood is fleeting. The older my kids get, the clearer this is to me. I don’t want to rush it. Sometimes, I wish time would just slow down, but unfortunately, it can’t. It keeps ticking on with or without our approval. What we can do, is pause and take it in; the happy moments and the sad ones.

We need to acknowledge what has passed in order to truly embrace what’s ahead.  We tried our best to do just that with Brave’s passing.  I know this will not be the last pet that we bury or the last time that my kids experience grief, but I do know that this was a moment that we will never forget.  Brave’s passing brought our family together for a moment of reflection not only for what she meant to us, but also for the sweet childhood memories that were made during her four years with us.  And, for that, I am grateful.

Thank you so much for reading, responding, and sharing.  Be blessed!

 


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