For the Mom whose kids do GROSS STUFF…

My heart started to beat out of my chest as I ran out of my room in search of the kids.  I saw the three older kiddos, but no Chatham.

“Where’s Chatham?”, I asked nervously.

My older kids shrugged their shoulders and seemed unaware that he was no longer with them.

I didn’t know whether to be mad or not, but I was worried.

I quickly found my husband to see if he had grabbed Chatham.  But, he hadn’t.  He jumped up and started helping me search high and low for our precious baby boy.

“Chatham, where are you?” we shouted, as if he could answer us.  But, there was no sound and no sight of him.  My adrenaline was off the charts, and I was definitely beginning to nervously sweat while moving room to room in search of our youngest.

Then, I saw a door cracked open.  The door that all of us know to NEVER leave open.  The door I close multiple times a day.  The infamous BATHROOM DOOR.

I rushed over and was at first relieved to see my precious baby Chatham alive and well, with a huge smile on his face.  But, just before I exhaled in relief, I realized that this wasn’t just any grin.  Chatham’s mouth had a huge black ring around it.  I couldn’t figure out what he’d gotten into until my eyes zoomed out to take in the whole scene.  I couldn’t believe what I saw.

My little eighteen month-old stood there with no pants on and an Oreo in each hand, doing what we’re supposed to do with Oreos.  He was dunking them–but, not in a cool glass of milk.  No.  He was dunking them in the TOILET WATER and EATING THEM.  I feel sick even writing this down, and I honestly almost threw up at the sight of this disgusting scene.

Bless his little heart, he was so proud.  But, all I could think about was the fact that Chatham was probably digesting his brother’s turds.  Yes, you read that right–I said “turds,” because no one wants to flush a toilet in this house.  I didn’t want Chatham to get sick, and I had to get the nasty toilet water–and whatever else was in there–out of him.

So, I did what any mom in my situation would do.  I asked my husband to help me take Chatham over to the sink, and I gagged him.  He spit up the cookies and, hopefully, any fecal matter he may have consumed.

Yes, this whole thing is as ridiculous and gross as it sounds.  Just another day in Mommyland, right?

I wish I had footage of all this, because I know we will look back and laugh.  It’s one of those things that motherhood just doesn’t prepare you for, and yet, now I know.

Poor little Chatham.  I hope he learned that Oreos are meant for a glass of milk–not a toilet.  And, I certainly learned that silence can be a little dangerous in this house.

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