What I Want My Sons to Know about “LOCKER ROOM TALK”

This is not a political post.  It is a personal one.  Like many of you, I am at a total loss of what to say about this election except that I am disgusted by what’s being tolerated and disregarded as “locker room talk” by many people–including some self-professed Christian men and women.  And, there are many others who are utterly outraged but don’t feel like it affects them directly.  Well, I am here to say that IT DOES.  It affects every single one of us.  And, here’s why…

Most of you have probably seen or heard the infamous interview, but for those who haven’t, this is the short of it:

Right before a 2005 Access Hollywood interview, Trump’s mic was already on.  Therefore, his supposedly off-the-record conversation that he had with reporter, Billy Bush, was recorded.  Both men were chatting back and forth and laughing at the thought of Trump hitting on various famous women and possibly sleeping with a married woman.  And, then there were the “oohs” and “whoas” between the two men when an attractive woman walked by.

Yeah.  It was pretty disappointing to say the least.

As a woman, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing from these men–much less a candidate for President of the United States.

Yet, many are passing this off as male locker room conversation.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.  We’re supposed to think that this is somehow harmless because it is just words among friends.

As a wife and a mother of four young boys, it breaks my heart to think that my husband or children would talk about any woman this way–regardless of the person or place.   It saddens me and disgusts me all at the same time.

If anything, it’s given me a wake up call to instill an even deeper respect for women into my sons. As one who works with married couples, I think my husband and I need to do a better job of addressing this issue with husbands too.  We can’t believe the lie that this “locker room talk” story has nothing to do with us or won’t affect us.

Folks, if a potential leader of our country doesn’t see this as a major failure and regret in his own life and something that needs to change, then we might as well slap every woman in the face and tell her to be quiet and step aside.  

Thankfully, Trump has apologized.  And, I believe this story transcends political strategy or the sides of the aisle.  This story has brought to light an issue within our society that desperately needs to be addressed head-on.  

Women are not sexual objects to be shouted at like animals.  We are worth more than our pretty faces or sexy bodies.  We are respectable, smart, capable, and strong.  We have tremendous influence in our families and in society as a whole, and we cannot allow anyone to belittle us or shame us with careless locker room conversation.

But, how do we remedy this?  How do we stop this dreadful mindset and treatment of women from being perceived as acceptable?  

We ALL a role to play in solving this prevalent problem.  And, it starts in our own homes.

Husbands, love your wives–both in her presence and among your male friends.  Love her enough to keep your eyes from staring at the attractive women at the gym.  Love her enough to stand up to your friends when they want to talk dirty about women.  Love her enough to resist the temptation to look at porn or flirt with other women online.  Love her enough to stop comparing her to the airbrushed women in magazines.  Love her enough to defend her honor when someone says a derogatory statement about her.  Love her every part of her–mind, body, and soul.  Every. Day.

http://sixseeds.patheos.com/ashleywillis/husbands-please-stop-doing-this-to-your-wife/

Women, let’s have more love and respect for ourselves, too.  Let’s stop labeling ourselves as mere sex objects through constant sexy selfies on social media.  Let’s stop sending mixed messages that we crave this superficial male attention, yet we’re somewhat appalled by it at the same time.  Let’s not settle as if we have no choice in the matter.  We do!   We are so much more than breasts and a behind.  Our worth isn’t in our wardrobe or lack thereof.  We don’t need this kind of lackluster male attention to feel good about ourselves.  In fact, when we crave this kind of attention, we will only be left feeling used and empty.  We must stop this perpetuation of the problem, and it starts increasing our own self-respect.  And, we MUST teach our young girls this as well.

http://sixseeds.patheos.com/ashleywillis/biggest-mistake-many-young-women-make-today/

Parents, we can also be a solution to this problem by raising our boys to see women as equals.  We must teach our adolescent boys that to be attracted to a woman’s body is NOT license to talk about it, gawk at it, or grab at it.  They are to respect her in every way.  To look a woman in the eye, not the chest.  To find ways to be a gentleman–not to find creative ways to brush against her body and cop a feel.  These are important things to teach our boys, and it starts young.  But, the greatest way we can teach our boys to highly respect women is through our actions.  Boys will most likely treat women how their dad treat their mom.

So, Men, do your very best to respect all the women in your life with your words and actions.  And, women, we must be keenly aware of the kind of treatment we accept from the men in our life and how our male children talk about women.  If it isn’t respectful in every way, then we MUST say something immediately.  If we don’t, then the locker room talk–and the general disrespect for women–will only get worse.  So, let’s do everything we can to be the solution.

Thanks for reading, responding, and sharing.  I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

For more on how to strengthen your marriage and family, please check out our latest resource, Fighting for my Marriage, by clicking here.  Be blessed!