3 Things to do RIGHT NOW to help your STRUGGLING MARRIAGE

2.  Try a new approach to communication.

When our marriage is struggling, we can find it very difficult to talk to our spouse.  I hear struggling couple’s say things like,

“All we do is fight.”

or

“She/he just doesn’t listen to me.”

or

“He/she just shouldn’t feel that way.”

But, these kind of statements don’t get us anywhere, do they?  In those times when we can’t muster up anything nice or productive to say to one another, we need to switch our go-to communication style.

If every conversation between you and your spouse tends to end in an argument, try writing down your feelings on paper first.  Then, read through it and re-write it in the most loving way possible.  Have your spouse do the same thing.

Then, at a certain point in the day, hand the letter to your spouse and ask him/her to read it.  Take his/her letter and read it too.  Then, take time a write a response to the letter.  Then, read it and re-write it.  And, hand it to him/her.  Do this exercise until you both feel like you can have a civil conversation.  Then, sit down and talk to one another without distractions.  Apologize for the hurtful conversations of the past, and share your hearts with one another.  Do your best to get it all out, and don’t interrupt each other.  Listen until your spouse is finished with what he/she has to say.  Then, respond in the most loving way possible.

When you both take the time to really hear each other out–without interruptions, excuses, accusations, and hurtful words–you will find that it is much easier for you both to get on the same page and moving in the same direction.

For more on this, be sure to read, “4 Reasons Why You and Your Spouse Aren’t on the Same Page,” by clicking here.