5 Common Ways We Suck the Life Right Out of our Marriage

1.  Compiling “The List”

This is something that almost all husbands and wives can relate to.  Whether we have a physical list or not, we tend to keep this ongoing tab of all the things our spouse does wrong.  Then, we compare it to all the things we feel we are doing right.  I was just talking to a sweet group of women the other day, and “the list” seemed to be something that nearly all of us were struggling with.  Marriage is not 50/50.  For a marriage to work, both the husband and wife have to give 100%.  We can’t keep lists.  This tit for tat game will get us into trouble every time, and it’s a game that no one can win.

There can be no single winner or loser in a healthy marriage; we either both win or we both lose.

Instead of allowing resentment to build, we need to go to our spouse right when we feel that something is wrong or a specific need isn’t being met.  Many times, our spouse is unaware of our desires or wishes, and we just need to address the problem head on.   We have to be honest with each other and be willing to listen when our spouse is trying to tell us what he/she needs.  If we each focus on serving and blessing one another rather than compiling “the list, then nine times out of ten, the needs, on both sides, will be fulfilled.