5 Ways to HELP Your Spouse Snap Out of His/Her Funk

1.  Give your moody spouse some quiet time to retreat for a bit.

I remember the first time I experienced one of Dave’s bad moods, or “BMD-Bad Mood Dave,” as we affectionately call it.  It was a hot day, and he had come home from work hot, hungry, and tired–the trifecta for Dave to feel funky.  So, I did what I thought would help him.  I started talking his ear off and following him around the house trying to get him to talk to me about why he was in such a terrible mood.  And, boy, did this back fire.

After some time of Dave continuing to walk around the house feeling interrogated, he whipped his head around at me and sharply said, “Sweetie, I can be hot.  And, I can be tired.  And, I can be hungry.  But, I can not be hot, tired, and hungry at the same time without needing a little space!”  I got the picture, and I gave him the space he needed.  But, my heart sank.  I felt like he was rejecting me.  But, later that day, Dave explained his need to retreat for a short time when he is mad.  He said that it helps him to process, and it keeps him from saying things–harsh things–that he really didn’t mean and certainly didn’t want to say to me.

Over the years, I’ve seen how this space has helped us.  If I sense that Dave is in a funk, I tell him that I love him and give him a little space to retreat for a time.  He usually goes to our back porch and reads for a little bit.  And, after some time, he comes back to me more like himself and in a much better mood.

For more on this issue, read THIS.