Ask Angus #33: 3rd time’s the Wickerman!

Nicholas: We are a sort of mixed bag Pagan group that like to get together for a few of the holidays every year, have a potluck, and an inclusive ritual. This year we want to make and burn a wickerman at one of our get togethers but can’t decide between the Autumnal Equinox or Samhain Do you know anything about the history of the wickerman and do you think one day is more appropriate than the other?

Hey Nick,

Our best source of information about the Wickermen is Julius Caesar, who wrote extensively about Druidic customs, but who has proven to be the ultimate “Unreliable Narrator” with regards to History. Anytime you see the name “Julius Caesar”, pronounce it like this: “sy-tay-shun nee-dead”.

Were their Wickermen in the British Isles (and across Western and Northern Europe)? Yes. There are archeological remains clear across Celtland. But at none of these sites has their ever been found a charred note that says “We did this thing / on this day / for this reason”.

The only modern instance we have of a Holiday involving torching stick people is Saint John’s Eve in Denmark, which is, not coincidentally, near the Summer Solstice. But the good Danes are doing this for good Lutheran reasons, and NOT to celebrate any residual pagany sabbaty kinda deals.

But Litha has already passed for this year, and you, Dear Nicholas, are asking about the Vernal Equinox or Samhain.

And, as always with things Celtic, there is no written record or historical evidence. Whee! So I will have to go with my Psychic Intuition, which tells me that my witchy ancestors were a merry bunch of drunken pyromaniacs who lived in cold, damp climates and never had to look far for a reason to:

• Make a fire, and
• Set this fire onto something else that is flammable.

That said, you can justify either sabbat as follows, based on how serious your Wickerman rite is going to be: 

The Autumnal Equinox is a more light-hearted affair. If you have basically a harvest party on your hands, then by all means, torch a stick figure. BLAMMO!

Samhain is much more grim, so if the focus of your ritual is more on the sacrificial figure and less on the means of its ignition, then this may be a good fit.

So, Nick, short answer: BOTH are equally good times, because pyromania is ALWAYS in season.

Oh So Hetero: What do women want?

Dear OSH,

(*sigh*) You could, you know, ask them………nevermind.

What do Women want? They want us to stop asking “What do women want”. 

And they want us to do whatever it is we do. 

• Find your path.
• Have tea with your demons.
• Work your magic.
• Doest what thou wiltest do.

Then you will encounter the partner for your quest. 

Too many of us have written in “get a girlfriend” as the goal for our activities. Love is a journey, Gentlemen, not a destination. And women are not Prize Packages to be earned and owned. 

Show your love: Pursue a skillset, a cause, an ideal, a body of work; whatever the Fates unfold for you, seize it as the adventure of a lifetime, for that is what Life should be; an adventure. Work on realizing your dreams. Become an interesting man of active accomplishment. Show a little light in your eyes.

You’ll get noticed. 

(A snappy pair of boots doesn’t hurt, either.)

Jonas: So why IS the “third time the charm?” Why 3, and what is this charm that every seems to know about?

Dear Jonas,

Short answer: Because you’ve tried it enough that the odds are it’ll work this time. Long answer: This idiom is very old. The earliest recorded instance of this (A letter from Elizabeth Barrett Browning) goes back to the 1830’s “…’The luck of the third adventure’ is proverbial…” which indicates that it was already old back in the heady days when the U.S. debt was zero.

But why 3, and what is this charm? Well the charm is the number 3 itself. The third time literally IS the charm. 

So what is so darned Murgickal about the sacred thrice? Well, the Celts will point to the ‘3 realms’, Christians will point to the Sacred Trinity (which is kinda their go-to answer for everything), Mathematicians will point to the Triangle, and the band Extreme will point to their CD “3 sides to every story: Yours, Mine and the Truth” which they will sell you after their set, and even sign for you!

Truth is, there are plenty of incidences and coincidences in the physical world involving ANY number, but the lower the number the more sheer tonnage of data accumulates on top of it. And I’m not going to spend my golden years sorting through all of that hoo-ha, thankyouverymuch.

But I do have a theory as to why the Third Time is the Charm.

See, I am the son of a seaman.

(Pause) Go ahead. Get it out of your system. I’ll wait.

There. All better? Good. Let’s continue.

My Father, Ask Angus Senior, served on Destroyers in the Pacific Ocean, and one of the odd, random things he handed down to me was that the first salvo in an artillery duel will probably go long and sail over the other ship. Your gunners adjust their sights, and the second salvo will probably land short. Ah, But now you have some math to work with! Set your range between the two, and BLAMMO – third time’s the charm.

~Ask Angus

Angus McMahan

@AngusMcMahan

Send your questions to: [email protected]

(Wickerman pic from wikimediacommons, Author being fascinating photo from Daev Roehr, spellwork photo [no idea what that substance at the top is] from the Authors collection.)