Review: Instant Fortune Teller!

Review: Instant Fortune Teller! December 23, 2019

Book Review: Instant Fortune Teller, by Adams Media

The Instant Fortune Teller book and I did NOT get off to a good start. The very first thing this book says, after the title and copyright pages is this: “Frustrated with your Tarot Cards?”

Um, no. I’ve been reading the same amazing deck for almost 25 years now. But thanks for asking.

Next the I.F.T. wants to inquire whether I am sick of drinking tea? Also, no. And what does drinking tea have to do with fortune telling?

Finally, the I.F.T. would like to know if I “need my answer from the Universe NOW?” which is a tentative ‘yes’, so we’re batting a tenuous 1 for 3 so far. The intro page then concludes with the instruction to close your eyes and open the book at random.

I closed my eyes, but then I couldn’t find the book. I fumbled for it and ended up launching it into my cup of tea, which then spilled all over my tarot deck.

So that’s how the Instant Fortune Teller works – it systematically destroys your other means of divination!

But after that the IFT and I got to know each other better, I found it to be a fun and provocative means of looking at the day. Each of the rest of the 220 odd pages contains a single sentence and opening the book at random gives you a lovely ‘chosen just for YOU’ tingle. Many of the aphorisms fall into the ‘eat your peas’ finger wagging, some are ominous (“Double check all your work”), and the rest are positive and open ended, very much like fortune cookie fortunes.

I am a big fan of bibliomancy, or any kind of random (or IS IT?) magicks. That ricochet bounce back from the Great Beyond carries some surprising heft, and it’s fun to look at your situation from this left field perspective. The Instant Fortune Teller is more on point than the Random Page button of Wikipedia, more helpful than hitting shuffle on your iPhone, and less gruesome than leafing blindly through the King James Bible, which is the book I had been bibliomanticating from before this: “So we boiled my son, and did eat him……” (II Kings 6:28-29)

In short, the Instant Fortune Teller belongs not on your bookshelf, but on your desk or nightstand. Its bite-sized bits of wisdom and direction are a great way to see your problem from a different angle, or if you don’t have a pertinent question, it provides many great filters with which to view your day. The Instant Fortune Teller may be the most user-friendly divination book ever written.

Just remember to have it in your hands BEFORE you close your eyes.

About Angus McMahan
Angus McMahan is a gregarious Solitary who lives on the Central Coast. He posts several times a decade as Ask Angus, and MUCH more often over at his Patreon page. You can read more about the author here.

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