Guys wonder: do compliments really matter? Three things your wife is secretly thinking:

Guys wonder: do compliments really matter? Three things your wife is secretly thinking: October 29, 2015

Couple holding hands

  1. “Am I beautiful?”  You may think your wife is beautiful, adorable, sexy, and you love to look at her.  And yet…. she probably sees all her flaws instead.  She has deep doubts about whether she is beautiful at all.  Little girls will spin in a pretty dress, asking “Daddy, am I pretty?”  And guys, your confident, grown-up wife is still that little girl inside. 
  1. “Am I beautiful… to him?”  Today, your confident, grown-up wife is still looking to the most important man in her life for a signal of whether she’s beautiful.   Only now that man is you.  Our For Men Only research discovered that 77% of women age 45 and younger have a deep need to know that their man finds them beautiful.  It says something to her about whether she is special, lovely and loved.  Your words of affirmation, of how adorable you find her, fill a very important need.
  1. “After 20 years of marriage and two kids, do I still rock your world?”  When she comes downstairs in an outfit and asks “How do I look?” she’s not usually asking a technical question.  So the answer she’s looking for is not, “Fine.”  She’s asking: In a world filled with Cosmo models and sultry women just a click away, do you still find me attractive? She’s asking, When I can no longer fit into my honeymoon bikini, can I still turn your head?  So the next time you see her coming down the stairs all decked out, don’t wait for her to ask.  Do a double take, give her a big smile, and say “Honey, you look stunning.” That will make the little girl inside very, very happy.

Do you want Shaunti to share life-changing truths at your church or event? Inquire about Shaunti speaking, here.

Shaunti Feldhahn is the best-selling author of eye-opening, research-based books about men, women and relationships, including For Women Only, For Men Only, the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage, and her newest book, Through A Man’s Eyes. A Harvard-trained social researcher and popular speaker, her findings are regularly featured in media as diverse as The Today Show, Focus on the Family, and the New York Times. Visit for more.

"Have struggled so much over the years wondering if I have what it takes as ..."

Your Husband Just Lost His Job: ..."
"Well, it goes both ways. My ex hubby often rejected my advances because he was ..."

How Your Husband Feels When You’re ..."
"This is wisdom. I would add that your patience in letting him bring it up ..."

Does Your Kid Make You Feel ..."
"Deposit and withdrawal, no minimum Football betting starts at 10 baht Sign up as a ..."

How Often Do Men Need to ..."

Browse Our Archives