But women are visual too – right?

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Dear Shaunti, I am irritated by all these generalizations that women should watch how they dress “because men are visual.”  Well women are visual, too.  There’s a hot guy at my office who works out by running the complex in gym shorts and no shirt during lunchtime, and I sure want to stand and watch.  [Read More...]

My Lady Is A Loose Cannon

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Dear Shaunti, I used to think I was crazy, but these days I feel like I’m the stable one in our house.  I recently read a news report where this guy called 911 because his wife refused to speak to him. It’s ridiculous, but I can relate. Just a couple days ago, we were out [Read More...]

Spill Out Your Secrets To Fill Up Your Marriage

Sad young couple paying bills.

Dear Shaunti, Just before I got married, my grandmother presented me with a check – more zeroes than I’d ever seen next to my name – with the stipulation that it was my “special” fund. I was to park the money someplace safe and use it only for me; she advised me not to tell [Read More...]

Did Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn REALLY break up because of “time?”

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View image | gettyimages.com Dear Shaunti, My wife and I got into a “discussion” the other day that has me baffled. She’d read that Tiger Woods and his girlfriend, Lindsey Vonn, said they broke up because they didn’t spend enough time together. I said that obviously wasn’t the real reason because no one actually breaks [Read More...]

I trusted him and he disappointed me

Worried couple using their laptop to pay their bills at home in the living room

Dear Shaunti, You and a lot of others talk about how much men need to feel respected and trusted.  So I trusted him.  And it blew up in my face.  My husband, Hank, and I own a travel business.  I am organized and like things done a certain way – and that way usually works. [Read More...]

Complaining kills, but discussion heals

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Dear Shaunti, I know you’re a researcher, but I think most marriage researchers are off the mark. See, I’m a direct person; that’s just how I roll.  And think in marriage it’s important to get things off our chest and let the other person know when they are doing something that bugs us. So I [Read More...]

How do I deflate my teenage son’s oversized ego and curb the cockiness?

sexy fashion man with beard dressed casual smiling against wall

Dear Shaunti,

I’m a single mom to two teenage boys, and because their dad was an arrogant man I’m highly sensitive to teenage cockiness. I really want to teach the boys humility. My 17 year old is fine, but my 15 year old is convinced he’s God’s gift to his school, every girl he meets, and the entire sport of soccer. It is driving me crazy. And the worst of it is: he actually is a great student, a charismatic boy, and an unusually gifted goalie. He works hard, but I feel like I can’t say “good job” because it will just go to his head. And he’s got such an inflated view of himself already. I feel like I need to let some of the air out of his ego by reminding him that he’s part of a team who are all doing well, or that his buddy got just as good grades as he did, or that the girl he liked was turned off by his bravado. But it hasn’t helped so far. What can I do to bring him down to earth? [Read more...]


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