Lesson #3: Sacrifice Can Be Joyful
I think what impacted me most about Jeff’s father was his willingness to sacrifice for others. Joyfully. Not just for his country, or his brother, or his wife through so many years, but for anyone in his life.
When my husband graduated from high school, he and two of his brothers (who were all older) decided to open a restaurant together. His dad – again – stepped up.
Bill and Roberta decided to go into business with their sons, investing their entire life savings into the family business. Not for financial gain – as anyone in the restaurant business can attest, there’s no money in it! – but for years of togetherness with their sons.
Over the decades, in various cities, the boys owned family diners and pizza places. Jeff’s dad was always there, morning to night, grilling burgers, delivering pizza, clearing dirty dishes, doing maintenance, and mentoring his grandkids as they waited tables after school. All with a smile on his face, and that signature twinkle in his eye.
The restaurants always just barely scraped by – but it didn’t matter. Bill knew he was unlikely to get his life savings back. And indeed, he didn’t. For him, it wasn’t about the money. It was about being with his boys. Investing in their lives. Enjoying the journey.
For him, it wasn’t a sacrifice. It was a delight.
More than anything, that is a lesson I need to be reminded of today. When I face trials that are nowhere near as difficult as those of my father-in-law, I am going to picture the twinkle in his eyes. His memory reminds me to not just get through life, but to enjoy it. Dive in with full intentionality. Don’t let it get past you.
Truly, 92 years was a long, full life. But it was still way too few years with Bill Feldhahn. Yet I also know that our loss is heaven’s gain. And I’m sure those who have gone before us are appreciating the twinkle in his eyes.
Shaunti received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher and best-selling author. Today, she applies her analytical skills to investigating eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Her groundbreaking books, such as For Women Only, have sold more than 2 million copies in 23 languages, and her research is regularly featured in media as diverse as The Today Show and Focus on the Family, The New York Times and iMom. Shaunti, her husband Jeff and their two active kids live in Atlanta and enjoy every moment of life at warp speed.
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