Transform Your Relationship With This One Simple Rule

Transform Your Relationship With This One Simple Rule November 6, 2017

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As a child, each of us was told, “You’ve got to learn to think before you speak.” But I’ve seen we need to refine that edict if we want a great marriage: we’ve got to learn to think before we blurt!

And it turns out that those of us who happen to be of the female gender need to be particularly mindful of this concept. Why? Well, we already tend to be more verbal than our husbands — but we also tend to process out loud. If we’re not careful, that can trigger an all-too-common problem.

In our research with men, it was clear that one of a man’s most painful feelings comes when he tries to do something (fix the sink, dress the kids, find a new route around construction to the restaurant), and then gets the sense that he’s inadequate: that his wife has examined him and found him wanting.

Yet in our research with women, it was clear that women think things through by talking them through; in other words, they start the process of examination by jumping in and analyzing it verbally.


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  • Vishnu Murthy

    Gods plan amazing upon mankind in the beginning onece we go through scripture according old testament genesis1:2earth was foam les darkness upon the water and sprirt of God covering upon water to bring shape genesis 1:1 God said let there be light there was light God saw it was good God divided light dark light he called day and darkness he called night one happened this god muster plan about this earth Jesus Christ author of whole universe according gospel mattew28:18 all authorty has been given to me in heaven Earth Jesus Christ

  • ElectricStrawberry

    All this sounds good……………in a dream world. My wife wakes up upset or mad about something, if she isn’t mad or upset she’s not happy.I have to choose my words very carefully because one wrong word and I’m toast. I don’t even like to go out to eat with her, continual complaining about everything and I do mean everything .Too, I’m always commented on when “I took the wrong street or route”. When I make the bed or some other house cleaning chore she sometimes comes in after me and corrects my mistakes, with “why didn’t you do it this way?” When ever we have a ,supposedly, discussion it becomes a preaching marathon, I’m not allowed two words. When she asks a question I might get the two words out and the preaching begins. I don’t share much with my wife to spare the criticism of “that’s stupid” or some similar remark. When I see a preaching session coming on I have learned diversion tactics to take the subject matter down a less confrontational rabbit trail that way I won’t have to listened to a never ending preaching and complaining session. We both have lived more life than we both have left and I would just assume to keep it low keyed and discussion short, very short. With all this I do enjoy reading your columns.