To Rebuild Your Wife’s Trust, Apologize . . . And Be Patient
If you’re struggling with a similar issue in your own marriage, try doing what I advised this man to do. Apologize for whatever it was that hurt your wife. In this particular husband’s situation, it was having to be on the phone when his wife needed him. The important step is to say something like, “I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t needed to be on that conference call either. Your feelings are important to me.”
Over time, this kind of response—expressed without an undercurrent of irritation—will help your wife heal from her past experiences. It slowly rebuilds trust that she can share her emotions and know that you will be able to calmly receive them. You can’t usually control a circumstance or how your wife feels, but you can control how you respond. And that can make a big difference in how you comfortable your wife feels opening up to you.
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Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).
Her latest book, Find Rest: A Women’s Devotional for Lasting Peace in Busy Life, focuses on a journey to rest even with life’s constant demands.
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