A Letter to our Teenage Daughters About How They Dress

A Letter to our Teenage Daughters About How They Dress April 10, 2019

Discovery #1: A Guy Can’t Not Be Tempted By The Sight

Picture the most honorable guy you know; someone who is kind, mature, and really respects girls. Do you have him in your mind?

When he sees you, all done up with great hair and makeup and heels—and THAT dress—he’s going to automatically want to look at you. Nearly all guys admitted that they couldn’t “not be attracted” to a girl near them who had a great body (only 4% said they were unaffected).

“What’s wrong with that? I want to look attractive. Who wouldn’t?” you might be thinking. I get that. But read on. Because here is what is actually happening in his brain.

When that guy sees you—this attractive girl who is drawing attention to her figure (even though you may not think of it that way)—a part of his brain called the nucleus accumbens is automatically stimulated. Instantly, even the most honorable guy is instinctively tempted to want to visually take in, linger on and fantasize about all the details of this great body he’s seeing. That doesn’t mean he does that (we’ll get into that in a moment), but he is instantly tempted to.  

Even if he doesn’t want to be tempted. Even if he wants to be honorable and not think of you that way.

And he’s not the only guy in the room. So if you dress in a barely-there outfit, not only your date but every other guy in the room (and not to freak you out, but EVEN the dads who are there at the picture party) sees you, notices how little you’re wearing and has the same temptation.

After taking pictures before a dance recently, a friend reached out and said her husband was still reeling from how short the dresses were in the group of about 30 kids heading to their event. As a father, he was horrified that the boys were going to be having to fight that visual temptation all night. And because he’s a man, he understands exactly what that visual temptation is. Let’s tackle that next.

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  • ClanSutherland

    Are you kidding with this?

    Females are NOT responsible for male THOUGHT or ACTIONS. This is how rape culture is born. MALES are responsible for their own eyes, their own thoughts and their own actions. PERIOD.

  • Olorunseun Enit’Olumo

    How about you read the article again this time slowly. What is written is far from what you are insinuating. Boys and men are responsible for how they allow their thoughts to wander. All I read Shaunti wrote here is there is a difference between been dressing to draw attention and dressing smart and pretty. Being smart and pretty does not mean one has to expose too much skin. See this two videos:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9WZFeA4FzI
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlZsGpWJmos