Four Key Things to Understand About Your Man During Football Season

#4: Football Creates An Opportunity To Connect

I know what it feels like to be hurt that your husband seems to have no time or attention for you when the game is on. And again, it is not healthy for men to emotionally disappear for entire weekends, the whole season! But please know this: statistically, your man almost certainly cares about you deeply. That means this is simply a matter of being out of balance—and turns the situation into an opportunity to connect.

Take a moment and write down those things you think your husband is probably getting from his engagement in the games. Excitement? Feeling Alive? Connectedness with something beyond himself? Then find a time—on a non-football day!—to ask, “I want to understand your heart; is this is how you feel?” Then tell him you want him to experience those things—you don’t want him to lack this special time of enjoyment! But then tell him that you know that he loves you and therefore you know that he wouldn’t want you to feel bad so he can feel good. Ask if you can discuss the expectations and hopes that both of you have, so you can come to a plan that works for both of you.

Also, consider whether game time could be an opportunity to spend time with him. That’s what happened with me. I had never been into college football, but Jeff was so into it, I realized it would be far better to sit with him, ask questions, learn the rules, and enjoy his enjoyment, than to get huffy every Saturday for the rest of our lives! And to my surprise: I began to actually enjoy it for myself! Which Jeff absolutely loves. To this day, he still mentions the night I stayed up very late watching ESPN to see the highlights of a few games we missed, even after he was in bed. 

Our research shows that one of the top habits of happily married couples is spending time together. In The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages we share that 83% of couples who rate their marriage as “very happy” hang out with their spouse at least weekly. So by just sitting with your man and hanging out—even if you’re reading a book instead of watching the game!—you’re doing something to strengthen your relationship. 

Regardless of the way you do it, take advantage of this opportunity to understand why something like this is so clearly important to him. Because in doing so, you understand more about him. And you might even become his cheerleader in life by cheering for your favorite team—together.

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Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).

Her latest book, Find Peace: A 40-day Devotional Journey For Moms, focuses on discovering biblical direction to become a woman of serenity and delight in all seasons – and have impact for generations to come.

Visit www.shaunti.com for more.