Does Your Wife Think Your Marriage Has Lost its Spark? Here’s How to Respond

Your wife needs you to communicate your love for her every day.   

If—like Leslie—your wife is feeling like you’ve lost the powerful connection you had when you were younger, if she feels like your marriage is just mediocre, that doesn’t mean (or just mean) that she’s tired of the same routine. It’s quite likely that she just wants you to start broadcasting the same message every day that you did when you were dating: that she’s amazing, that you love her, that she’s your best friend, and that you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Husbands, you can’t stop sending the message that you want her simply because you already have her! Your wife needs to see your love for her, every day—in every phase of her life.

Here is my husband, Jeff’s, analogy for this: Think about your first car. Even if it was an old rust-bucket with doors that were painted a different color from the rest of the car, you loved it, right? Not to mention the nicer car that you got when you could finally afford it. Because that was your baby. You put all kinds of time and money into shining her up and making her look nice. And remember… you put all that time and money into the car after you bought it. Once the deal was already done. Marriage isn’t all that different. Because in your wife’s mind, her “I do” will always mean, “Do you?”