Does Your Wife Think Your Marriage Has Lost its Spark? Here’s How to Respond

Start pursuing your wife again.   

So, it’s time for Phil—and you—to do the things you did to win your wife’s heart in the first place. She needs you to affirm her timeless vibrancy and priceless value. It’s time to start pursuing her again.

Now, at this point, Jeff tells me I have to reassure you: Don’t freak out. This doesn’t mean planning the big gestures you found so exhausting when you were dating! You don’t have to start jumping out of airplanes or planning a second wedding. You’ll be relieved to know: it is the little day-to-day things that pack the biggest punch. When was the last time you wrote her a text message that told her that you love her and that you are so amazed at what a great mom she is? When was the last time you took a five minute break during work to call her and ask how her day was going? Have you put your arm around her recently, when you were out at a restaurant with friends? If she needed to talk about her problems at work, have you learned how to listen to her feelings so she feels heard? Those small gestures of love make a big impact.