These Holiday Gifts Are The Most Valuable To The People You Love

Gift #1: Time 

The first gift on the list is time. We are all busy. So giving someone your time powerfully communicates respect, value, and affection for that person.

This year it’s particularly important to distinguish between quantity and quality time. Many of us have been cooped up together with our immediate family for really long periods of time. But your loved one will benefit from your gift of focused quality time together. So that means no work, no school, no distracted texting or social media scrolling. Plan a special activity doing something they will enjoy.

Here are some specific suggestions:

For spouses, if you want this to be an actual “I spent money on you” gift, show them you want to spend time with them by arranging to share a special concert or show that they have been wanting to see. (We might think the pandemic has shut down these opportunities, but more and more organizations are offering live-stream experiences. It may require some creativity and research, but it is still possible!) So many people in the research have mentioned that a shared experience-related gift is special because it says, “I know you, what you care about … and I want to spend time with you.” At this time when budgets are tight for many of us, a coupon book of walks, take-out dates, or watching a free “armchair travel” tour demonstrates the same kind of love.

What about other ideas—including for other relationships, like family members, friends, or co-workers? A powerful gift of time could be as simple as setting aside time to listen to problems or offer advice. It could mean turning completely away from your computer when your daughter comes into your home office and wonders when you can watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas with her, or your son asks when you could play the new Playstation game with him. When you save what is on your screen, and say “What about now?” that is a very crucial message to your child (or spouse) that in the middle of your time crunch, you are prioritizing them.

The couples I studied for The Kindness Challenge practiced this gift of time by rearranging their schedule to be more available for their spouse. And the impact was huge. In fact, for those who prioritized being more available to their partners, 84 percent reported being happy in marriage.

Women especially value time. In my book For Men Only, my research found 70 percent of married women essentially said they would give up financial security for more time with their husbands. Ultimately, a husband spending quality, focused time with his family might be the best gift he could give during any season.