Here’s How To Be Romantic All Year, Not Just On Valentine’s Day

Remember that you may not naturally be as attuned to what your spouse most needs—or might be hurt by.

Because men and women tend to have different primary insecurities and needs, we often don’t realize that our spouse isn’t as moved by those “romantic” things that would touch our own hearts—and, worse, we sometimes don’t realize that we could actually be hurting our spouse in ways that seem minor to us. I’ll give you just one example.

Jeff and I recently spoke at a marriage conference and got into conversation with several couples about this exact topic. Interestingly, the consensus from the men was that their wives were great at being purposeful about what they (the wives) saw as the romantic aspects of marriage (date nights, candlelit dinners, heart-to-heart talks after the kids are in bed) but that they were not nearly as purposeful about how their day-to-day words and tone came across.

On the flip side, the consensus from the women was that men are often more aware of being cautious with their wife’s feelings in their words and tone but are less aware of the need for regular efforts to make her feel special.