Rachel had hurt her husband Nathan’s feelings and she didn’t even know how. She just knew he was upset. After the kids were in bed, she asked again what was wrong. Nathan finally admitted that she hurt his feelings when she pointed out some flaws in the painting job he had just finished in their son’s bedroom.
Rachel felt like he was magnifying a few offhand comments and she was sure he knew how much she appreciated him fitting the task into their busy family’s life. But the feedback that echoed in Nathan’s mind and heart was her criticism of a project he was happy to finally complete. Their different interpretations of one conversation had created a disconnect in understanding and emotion.
Have you experienced similar disconnects with your man? In my research with thousands of men for For Women Only, I discovered that the things that light men up—and the things that hurt them—are quite different from those that would do the same for us women. And while we know men are indeed visual and many times “external” in their thinking, there are actually much deeper areas of a man than we might realize.
This means that if we want to improve our relationship with the man we love, we must be willing to learn. We must set aside what we think we know about him and see our man for who he really is on the inside.
Here are four secret inner thoughts that are going on inside your man’s mind and heart.