Here’s What Your Man Is Really Thinking

He Wonders If He Measures Up

Men and women each have a burning question inside of them—but the two questions are very different. For women, the question goes like this: “Am I loveable, beautiful, and worthy of being loved?” Our question doesn’t go away just because we get married. This is why it’s painful for us when we are in an emotional conflict with our man and he shuts down and withdraws. It triggers our internal question and we need to know that our relationship is still okay.

For men, however, the question looks like this: “Am I able, do I measure up, and am I any good at what I do?” When surveyed, 75-85% of men state that they have this question burning on the inside most of the time. They wonder whether they are any good at what they try to do for you, whether you think they are a good husband, whether you think they measure up. With every little thing they do for you, they are secretly holding their hearts out, wanting to please you yet doubting they are up to the task. Realize that when you respond to your husband, you’re responding to the inner, vulnerable man—not the confident-looking outer one.