He’s Retiring! What Happens Now?

Important callings still exist in this new season. Encourage him—and you—to step into those callings.

I love Ephesians 2:10: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Those good works don’t magically stop at 65 or 70 or whenever he or his company decides it is time for him to retire. The seasons may change, but we have callings to advance God’s kingdom purposes in all of them.

Stepping into those callings could mean focusing more on family (for example, taking a “grandparents tour” so the two of you can pour into your grandkids around the country) but in his mind, that is probably not all it means. At some point, your man is likely to also need to find other ways to use his skills productively.

Yes, he might have time to chase a better golf handicap or pursue a long-delayed hobby—but he also may suddenly offer to take on the time-intensive role of Chairman of the Board of a charity he had casually contributed to in the past. You might have been anticipating that he would slow way down instead of jumping into another stressful role—and an unpaid one at that! It might help if you step back and see his efforts as a different sort of attempt at wellness in this new season of his life.

Now, it is absolutely understandable that you would want him to slow down and reduce his stress, and you need to be sure he knows what is important to you. (“I’ve been waiting for twenty years for a time when we can do more relaxing things together.”) Yet as I’ve talked to retired couples, it is clear that it makes all the difference to expect that this need may arise in him and find ways to support him in ways that work for both of you. (“I know this Board of Directors role is important and they need you. But the grandkids need you too. How about you say you can be Chairman of the Board as long as you can limit your work to Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays?”)