He’s Retiring! What Happens Now?

He’ll want more time with you to do fun things and just to hang out. Meet his needs, and yours, by balancing time together and time apart.

If your husband’s prior job took him away from home for much of the day, then he is going to be around more, plain and simple. Yes, having him home more is going to add sweetness to your days, but it’s also going to mean less time alone for you. Be prepared for him to feel rested and ready to do fun things together . . . even though you have things to get done! He might be experiencing a perpetual day off, but you may not have that freedom. It is vitally important to have ongoing conversations about what his expectations are and what yours are. That way, neither of you feels surprised or cheated when he wants to go out and play… but you have to work yet another 12-hour shift at the hospital.

Also, if you find yourself feeling envious, maybe that’s a clue to begin developing your own professional exit strategy!

The good news is that even if you are still working, your revised assignments for home responsibilities can give you more time to do more fun things or just hang out with him. And the extra time together can strengthen your marriage. As I learned in doing the research for my book The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, happy couples spend a lot of time together. And they don’t just spend time together because they’re happy—they’re happy because they spend time together! So make time to be with your man. And balance that with the time you need apart. It’s healthy for you both to maintain friendships. The difference is, now he’ll have more time to hang out with his buddies. Protect your “girl time,” too, without feeling guilty.

Retirement is a life change, for sure. But “change” doesn’t have to mean trouble. Working through these new patterns and challenges is a priceless opportunity to build even more richness into your marriage for this next season of life.

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