How To Inspire More Romance From Your Man

Ladies, was your Valentine’s Day a little… disappointing? Not quite up to the Hallmark movie scene you might have imagined? You know, that scene where the female lead shows up at a prearranged location for an unknown reason and finds herself following an elaborate scavenger hunt trail to arrive at a candlelit table set up for a romantic dinner for two, the male lead standing there with roses in hand and an adoring look in his eyes?

Maybe you got the same card and candy combination you get every year, which you suspect your husband picked up in a quick drugstore stop on his way home from work. Has whatever your man did—or didn’t do—left you wondering how much effort he put into romancing you that day (or any other day, for that matter), or if he even really cares?

Well, you might be surprised to learn that he does care—and he deeply wants to please you. During my research for For Women Only, I asked men if they desired romance in their relationship for themselves and I was shocked that 84% said yes!

That’s right, 8 out of every 10 men desire romance just as much as we do. So, while your man might not seem romantic in the way you would like, he still wants romance!

So what’s holding him back? Maybe he actually is trying, but you don’t interpret his attempts as romantic. Men and women sometimes define romance differently, so the signals between sender and receiver can get crossed.

Or—even more likely—maybe he’s concerned that he won’t please you. My research shows that a huge majority of men think they can put together a romantic event, but almost half aren’t confident that you’ll like it. And also, for the huge majority of men, the prospect of failure is their most painful feeling. In other words, your man is probably worried that if he tries something, he’ll see signals that he didn’t get it right . . . and he knows that will hurt.

So how can you move forward from your Valentine’s Day disappointment and take steps that can inspire positive change in your man in the romance department? Here are four ways to give him the encouragement and confidence he needs to up his romantic game.