Does Marriage Matter? This Study Says Yes

Marriage gives couples power to make it through the tough times

Today, it is understandable that a couple might wonder if a relationship can withstand the demands of a permanent commitment. But it turns out: the permanent commitment itself helps make it possible for couples to withstand the challenges of life, and create a healthy, happy relationship.

In the new UK study, researchers surveyed married adults. They asked what the couples thought would have happened if they had been together but unmarried instead of married. Fully 30% of those surveyed said they wouldn’t still be together today! In other words, the fact of the marriage commitment itself gave the couple the oomph to get through the tough times.

And, thankfully, as other research has discovered, sticking with that commitment doesn’t usually mean putting up with a miserable marriage for the rest of your life: Instead, it usually leads to an even better marriage in the end! In a landmark 2002 study, among the most unhappily married couples who nevertheless stuck it out, almost eight in ten were happily married five years later.

Now, clearly, there are tragic exceptions, and cases where (for example) a spouse must separate in order to protect themselves or their children from abuse. If you are in one of those situations, I would urge you to get help immediately. But in most difficult marriages, the issue isn’t abuse but a lack of hope. And that is where a permanent commitment makes such a difference. When a couple knows they have no choice other than to figure it out, they usually do!

As one woman told me, “Knowing marriage is forever doesn’t mean you won’t have arguments. But it means you have a much better chance of navigating through those arguments and coming out on top. When you put God at the head of your marriage and know that He says marriage is forever, the only option is ‘Let’s work through it.’”