My friend and her husband (who I’ll call Jackie and Tim) have their young grandson Micah with them every Saturday—and they love it. Sometimes they do special things with Micah, but most weekends they run errands and do Saturday chores and activities around the house—with lots of games, Legos, Play-Doh, and tickle fights mixed in.
Jackie told me she started noticing that whenever they were together, Micah loved being next to her. If they were reading a story, he sat close enough to touch and rested his hand on hers. He was drawn to connecting physically. It seemed to just be an instinctive, natural behavior—but one that definitely was building a bond between them. Jackie works in a field related to helping marriage and relationships, and started wondering: could some of the natural behaviors of young children be useful for adults to learn from?
I am intrigued by that idea. As adults, we work to grow our relationship skills by reading books, going to conferences, and (ahem) following blogs. Kids do none of those things. But despite that, young kids have certain natural tendencies—sort of built-in predispositions—that are actually really helpful for building healthy and happy relationships at any age. (Although of course, as any parent who has endured a temper-tantrum can attest, kids also have certain tendencies that will do exactly the opposite of building good relationships! Which is where parents come in, to steer them in a different way.)
So when you’re around the children in your life (maybe one’s in your lap right now while you’re reading this), keep an eye out for some of the sweet behaviors that draw you together—and see how you can put them into practice with your spouse.