Simple But Powerful Relationship Lessons We Can Learn From Kids

Kids want to be physically near you.

When you’re around any child that you’re closely related to for more than about 15 minutes, they’ll most likely be touching you in some way—leaning on you, holding hands, jumping on you, or settling in for a quality snuggle. That physical closeness comes without thinking. For kids, touch is their default. Which is why a lack of affectionate touch for a child is so damaging, developmentally.

That same kind of default touch is a warm and wonderful way to stay connected (literally!) to your spouse. And men, in most cases, it is super important to your wife—even if “physical touch” isn’t one of her main “love languages.” Our research for The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages identified affectionate touch as having a huge impact on making wives feel precious and cared for. So guys, ask her if it matters. And if so, make it your default: put your arm around her in church, hold hands in the grocery store, sit thisclose when you’re watching TV. Bonus: The warmth of nonsexual touch between husband and wife often kindles the embers that lead to sparks in the bedroom.