Simple But Powerful Relationship Lessons We Can Learn From Kids

Kids like hanging out with you.

It’s fun to do special things with kids and grandkids: going to a ballgame, concert, or museum. But the best family times don’t always require reserved tickets, a special outfit, or a long wait in line, right? For example, lots of young kids like “helping” with cooking and fix-it jobs around the house. (Hmmm . . . can we bottle and save that desire for the teen years?!) Games, tickle fights, making music—the simple pleasures—are often enough because kids just like being with you.

Likewise, in marriage, simply enjoying the companionship of your spouse allows your relationship to flourish. Research for the Highly Happy Marriages book showed that the happiest couples spend significant time hanging out together. Just as Jackie and Tim have regular time scheduled with their grandson, it’s important for couples to schedule time together. And the most important thing is that time together; of secondary importance is what you actually do. It becomes a healthy and happy cycle—spending time together makes you happy and being happy causes you to want to spend more time together.Kids love you just as you are.

Your child or grandchild, niece or nephew doesn’t really care if you’re a vice president, if you’re 20 pounds overweight, if you have a Ph.D., or if you can’t follow a map to save your life. Your status, your successes and foibles don’t matter. They love you for you. Your role to them—mom, dad, grandmom, granddad, aunt, uncle—is what makes you special. You hold a place in their life and in their heart that no one else can fill.

Kids love you unconditionally, and happy couples are the same. They think the best of their spouse. They support each other and lift each other up. They focus on the good qualities of their mates and (while not ignoring significant issues) put weaknesses in the background. They love their spouses—quirks and all—just as they are.