A Different Perspective on Teens—and How to Talk to Them

Risky behaviors of teens in key areas have decreased.

This chart should encourage a lot of parents. It’s from the latest Youth Risk Behavior Survey released by the CDC’s Division of Adolescent and School Health. Over the most recent 15-year period, 9^th graders in the U.S. (14-15-year-olds) have shown a huge decrease of risky behavior! Contrary to how it might seem, there has been a significant drop in the ratio of kids who have ever drunk alcohol, ever tried marijuana, ever smoked a cigarette, or ever had sexual intercourse.

What this means is that many of our kids, to some degree or another, have been hearing our warnings about bad choices and heeding them! Sadly, this is not all of our kids, but the percentages have been improving—in some cases dramatically.

I very personally know how annoyed we may get at other behaviors we view as slothful or frustrating (as you can see on the chart, the main teen behavior that actually increased was video gaming/computer use, in part because of the accessibility afforded by smartphones). But we can’t let those frustrating choices distract us from praising their less risky behaviors overall. In fact, adults should be shouting from the rooftops about how grateful we are that more kids are avoiding the traditional traps of sex, drugs, and alcohol. They deserve a lot of credit and praise for their healthy choices.

So here are the next questions we can use as a conversation prompt with our kids: Have I been giving you enough praise for your good choices? More to the point: Have I been aware of when those good choices cost you something? (For example, fitting in with those peers who might be making a different choice, or simply because you are not doing something unhealthy that you really want to do?) It is so essential to develop a relationship with our kids that allows them to share what they are really thinking and feeling. Which leads to the last point.