Need Rest? Finding It May Look Different for Men and Women

Men are burdened and weary—and don’t feel they can rest

Although there are exceptions, it appears that men have a very different impulse. They often don’t have a problem saying “no” to busy-ness—because a worry about feeling loved and in demand is not the source of their inner burden. Instead, for most men (when I informally polled the audience at that event, it was about 80%), their burden comes from a worry about providing for their family and trying to “do good” at being a husband, father, protector, and provider. All too often, men are subconsciously wondering whether they are enough, and have a deep fear of failing their wife and kids. If we want to get theological, this goes all the way back to Genesis 3 when God told Adam that in a fallen world, he (and men in general) would always feel like he was toiling the ground by the sweat of his brow, yet the thorns and thistles would always be rising up against him. He would feel like he was never really getting ahead.

In other words: a man may never feel that he can rest.

The thing is: God promises rest to all of us. Men, you can recognize that although there is indeed a biblical calling to provide (1 Timothy 5:8), it does not mean that you have to take every extra deal that is offered or return every midnight text from the boss, fearing that if you don’t you might get fired and not be able to provide for your family. (Hence God’s command to do no work on the Sabbath and the promise that if you trust Him with it, you won’t die of hunger.)

Jesus’s burden is designed to feel “easy” and is not designed to weigh you down. Yes, do what you can do—but also trust God with your family’s security. Especially because “providing” for your family may mean something more important than money. For example, leaving work early twice a week to coach your daughter’s softball team. You may be taking a step back from the corporate rat race—and the chances of a promotion for the next few years—but you are providing something priceless: your presence and your closeness in the life of your children.