Be there.
Be present. There is such peace in knowing that the journey is not walked alone. Sitting with an adoptive mom and/or dad to let them vent about setbacks or celebrate their older child finally giving them a hug is a powerful gift.
One caution: As you listen, some things will come up that sound so foreign to you – at least if you don’t have foster or adopted kids yourselves. Be careful to listen with love, not judgment. And to be a source of strength, not need. One adoptive mom put it this way, “One woman became such an important source of support for me because she would listen as I shared these really hard things, and she was sympathetic and comforting, but she didn’t get emotional or teary-eyed. She stayed calm. That was so valuable because I was wrestling so much with my own emotions, it was too much for me to manage other people’s emotions. So I ended up not sharing a ton with other people because I didn’t have the bandwidth to help them when I could barely help myself.”
Another idea: as you engage with the family, keep an eye out for ways to come alongside that might simply be encouraging. For example, I was given Shaunti’s book, Find Rest. It was something I didn’t know I needed but something God definitely provided. Each devotional helped me walk through times when my heart needed a break or gave permission to trust in my Savior and Abba Daddy when our life felt like it was falling apart.
The people who came alongside us helped me to rest in God’s promise from Isaiah 61:3: that He was taking the ashes of trauma and making them beautiful through the restoration of our family.
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In