Offer to help with specific needs.
This is a big deal: Ask adoptive families how you can help meet specific needs that you know exist. Instead of “how can I help?” ask, “What dinner can I bring by this week?” Instead of “is there anything I can do?” ask, “Which appointment do you need babysitting for, so I can occupy your other kids while you take Robbie to the therapist?” Or even, “When can we have your kids be with us for the weekend, so you and your spouse can get away for two days?”
There will be other specifics, but trust me: every adoptive parent needs food, babysitting, and respite time.