I don’t have a lot of pet peeves. But one of the few is when people quote the old urban legend, “Well, you know, the rate of divorce is the same in the church.” Which is one I debunked in my 2014 book, The Good News About Marriage. Really, any urban legend gets under my skin, but this one infuriates me because it is the exact opposite of the truth. As a social scientist who also is a follower... Read more
You know those college-football bumper magnets that say “A house divided?” Perhaps she supports University of Michigan, he’s a rabid Michigan State guy. Maybe it’s Alabama vs. Auburn. Or USC – UCLA. Regardless, the couple has to learn to get along during football season. I feel like our entire country needs a bumper magnet. A house divided. Republican vs. Democrat. Trump vs. Clinton. And within households and extended families, many have not been getting along. So what do you do over the... Read more
Dear Shaunti, I feel like my husband is a total avoider. When we get into an argument, all he wants to do is ignore the situation and escape to the TV room. He doesn’t care that we need to talk it through. What can I do to get him to talk to me? — Wanting more words Dear Wanting more words, Boy, can I feel your pain! In fact, in the research I’ve done with thousands of men and women,... Read more
Recently, someone asked what I think about the “Married Sex During the Week” video posted on Facebook and chortled about on social media. Have you seen it? Some women think it’s hysterical. I haven’t found a single man who does. And this vast difference points just how clueless we women can be about something that has a huge emotional impact on our husbands. In the video, we watch as a man’s hand reaches out and rubs his wife’s shoulder as... Read more
Have you heard the joke: How does someone from Canada cheat on a test? They secretly write on the palm of their hand, “You can do it!” Our neighbors to the north are an unusually open, honest, nice, kind bunch. No one is perfect, but as a whole Canadians are just a friendly people. And during a brutal season of division in our country and in our relationships, we could learn a thing or two from them. My next book,... Read more
Every relationship – even the happiest ones! — will have moments of conflict. And how we deal with that conflict can make the relationship stronger…. or really hurt it. Ladies, one of the clearest examples of this is what happens when you’re in a time of “intense marital fellowship” (as a friend of mine puts it), and your man gets really angry. Maybe he confronted you after his office party about how you teased him in front of his colleagues,... Read more
Men: If you want more sex, give her better anticipation time Although some couples are the opposite in this way, in many cases the husband wishes his wife would be eager more often. (Ladies, if you have the higher drive in your marriage, check out our special article series “When She Has the Stronger Sex Drive.”) Guys, there is a way to solve this, but you have learn something critical about women – and about yourself and your approach. See,... Read more
Every little girl dreams of finding her prince and knowing she is his princess. Husbands, you need to know that even after years of marriage, your wife probably still has some of that little girl inside. A little girl who wants to know she is still your leading lady. And one of the greatest ways you can get that truth to “stick” is by regularly telling your wife she is beautiful! Our surveys found that inside nearly every woman is a deep... Read more
A reader recently asked: “Why does my boyfriend always seem to RUN from a conflict? Well, not so much conflict, as emotion. When things get intense, especially if I start crying, I need resolution --but he’s heading out the... Read more
Dear sister, You say in your angry Amazon review of For Women Only and For Men Only, that a therapist recommended the books to help your failing marriage. Yet the For Women Only research has, in your view, made things worse by pointing out why your husband isn’t happy. (And presumably, why you aren’t, either.) You called me a “dumb broad” and threw the books in the trash. Four things I want you to know: 1. I’m sorry... Read more
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In