Dear Shaunti, My 8th grade son is getting involved in extra-curricular activities for the first time, finding out what he likes and making friends in a way he hasn’t before. Which is all great, but every new dodgeball clinic, basketball team and robotics program he signs up for is one more place I have to drive him! His dad is away on business a lot, and we don’t live near others who could carpool, so I’m the only chauffeur available.... Read more
Dear Shaunti: I’m always balancing my roles as a mom, wife and businesswoman, but I work almost entirely with men who don’t “get” how much more I have to juggle than they do—especially when there’s a problem at home. I recently had an especially stressful few days where my husband and kids were sick, I was nearing a deadline on a project, and I was at my wits end. Yet when I told my boss that I needed just a... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My husband makes a good income, and I always stick to our budget, but my husband is always nervous about my spending, and it makes me nuts. He’s not a control freak in any other area except this. He checks our bank account every day to see how much I have spent on clothes or gifts for the kids or new household decorations, or whatever. Yesterday, I officially lost it when I found him poking through my shopping... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My wife is constantly nagging me about taking care of myself, but I feel like I’m doing a good enough job where that is concerned. I work out sometimes, and try to eat healthy when I can, although I do enjoy some junk food! Lately, I’ve been noticing that she seems to be less receptive to my advances and doesn’t seem to be as passionate about me as she was before. She keeps bugging me to go out... Read more
Dear Shaunti: My husband has an anger problem, and I don’t know how to handle it. We’ve always had “intense discussions,” but lately he’s been getting furious and walking away. Last night, we got into a fight on our way out of a restaurant, just because I told him that he shouldn’t have eaten so much, and he definitely shouldn’t have had dessert. He actually walked away and left me standing at the door! It was a good thing I... Read more
Dear Shaunti: I am a female attorney, age 29, working at a large and prestigious litigation firm. I have a law degree from a top-five school, graduated near the top of my class, am smart, experienced and able to handle any case that is thrown at me. Yet at my firm I am surrounded by men, and have had a difficult time getting them to take me seriously. One of our HR directors recently told me that she felt the... Read more
Dear Shaunti: I’m so angry with my husband that I could spit. Every now and then Dave ignores a much-needed opportunity for us to be together, and does something else instead. Like last weekend: after months of working overtime, we recently had a day all to ourselves. The kids were even at a sleepover with friends! Dave was going to help his friend move for a few hours, then we were going for a long bike ride (a special thing... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My husband says I always want things my way. And he’s right to a certain extent because, honestly, in my mind, there are just right and wrong ways to do things. The house simply should be neat instead of messy. Is that too much to ask? Or no, he shouldn’t let the kids spread their homework all over the kitchen table, thirty minutes before dinner. My husband feels like I’m criticizing him, and I’m not really: I just... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My husband runs his own construction business, and even though he’s in charge it really does feel like “our” business in most ways. I used to be in the industry, so I know the market. And I’ve been very supportive of him dipping into our personal finances to personally pay our staff when things have been tight. He knows I’m supportive, and that I really believe in him and trust his ability to grow a great business. But... Read more
Dear Shaunti, You say that women have worries that pop up in their minds, almost like open windows on a computer. I see that in my wife every day – but to me, it looks like she just doesn’t trust me at all. And it’s become a huge issue in our marriage. For example, I’m in construction today, but years ago I served a tour in Iraq as a medic… but, still, whenever our daughters are sick my wife worries... Read more
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