Mars is in Taurus now, and will be there until April 21st. Mars rules temper, and Mars in Taurus is considered to be a particularly problematic placement — moody, easily set off by minor annoyances, and ready to blow up at the first sign that its routine is being messed with. it’s best to be prepared for the inevitable results you’ll get (given the idiots you constantly find yourself surrounded with), so here is a handy guide as to where, when and how to lose your temper with people in the next month.
Exact dates are listed, but allow for a few days either side of the exact date, because… yeah, well, whatever, just do it.
March 14th: Mars trine the North Node. You will be feeling the need to reach out to new people you may feel a karmic connection with. Tie a love letter around a brick and throw it through a random stranger’s front window.March 27th: Mars sextile Neptune. You will be seeking greater meaning in your relationships and more profound connections with others. Get drunk and/or high and hit on a stranger… but make sure you pass out in the back seat of your cab ride home before anything comes of it.
April 4th: Mars quincunx Jupiter. Drives and aggression are amplified in an uncomfortable manner, so AAAARRRRGH KILL KILL KILL THEM ALL
April 6th: Mars trine Pluto. OH LOOK YOU MISSED ONE KILL IT KILL IT WITH FIRE
April 17th: Mars quincunx Saturn. Your aggression may have unforeseen consequences if not channeled properly. If all else fails, remember that bleach destroys DNA evidence, and keep your mouth shut until your lawyer shows up.
April 21st: Mars enters Gemini. Time to stop being annoyed by petty inconveniences caused by others and time to start being annoyed with people’s words and thoughts!