Please check out this blog by my neighbors in Ave Maria, whose daughter Lily was born a week ago by emergency C-section. She had lost almost all of her blood, had to be resuscitated twice, and sustained significant brain damage. On top of that, her parents are having to make the hour+ drive that we in Ave are all too familiar with to visit her each day…and gas is not cheap. Lily’s dad reiterates on the blog that all they... Read more
for multicolored temporary hair dye, and these adorable minions to put it on. Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! Read more
Did you, like me, forget to thaw your turkey out until five minutes ago? No worries! Gizoogle to the rescue! Da Thursdizzle before Thanksgivin you supposed ta take yo’ turkey outta tha freezer n’ allow it ta thaw slowly up in tha fridge. Rule of thumb say fo’ every last mutha[redacted] four poundz of bird, allow one dizzle ta thaw up in tha refrigerator. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. But what tha [redacted] if it’s 24 minutes before tha big-ass... Read more
It’s the day before Thanksgiving! I am so grateful that the wind is blowing and the weather is gorgeous, that house is clean and the windows are open, and that the Catholic Church has never explicitly condemned schadenfreude as a sin*. (I’m also eternally grateful for that episode of Boston Legal where James Spader explained what schadenfreude is, thereby enlightening the unwashed masses<—(me).) Because I’d like you to be as happy and schadenfreudey as I am, here you go. Here’s... Read more
On Saturday, I took all the minions to the local Publix in a fit of misguided optimism. It was Doctor Who day, and I wanted to celebrate with jammie dodgers and fishsticks and custard, but since those things are British and gross, I settled for hot dogs and hot cocoa cookies. I figured that since the kids were so excited about the cookies and Doctor Who, they would behave. But they were like True to form, I had barely turned... Read more
The other day when I was trying to create a facebook page, a minor annoyance became a major issue. See, because Ave Maria is a pretty new little town-like thing, facebook doesn’t recognize it as a town. When you try to tag your location or create a page, you can’t tag Ave Maria, Florida, because according to facebook, it doesn’t exist. This mostly just annoyed me when I was trying to change my profile information, but I chose the closest... Read more
The Ogre: “Since it’s been awhile, remind me again how long PMS is supposed to last?” Me: (snarling) “For the rest of your life.” The Ogre: “Ain’t that the truth.” Read more
I started this series in response to Addie Zierman’s original post on the 5 churchy phrases that are scaring off millennials. I agreed with her post, yet I didn’t think it went far enough. I wanted to take it further, to figure out exactly why these phrases are worse than mere clichés. They don’t just make us millennials roll our eyes…they repel us. In writing these posts, I discovered something that surprised me: other generations don’t understand why millennials feel... Read more
Sentimental Claptrap #5: God Is In Control…God Has a Plan…God Works in Mysterious Ways This is by far the most complex and problematic statement of the whole series. The omnipotence of an all-good God and the existence of suffering is a paradox that philosophers and theologians have attempted to reconcile for centuries. There’s even a name for attempting to justify God’s goodness despite the existence of evil and suffering: theodicy. As such, dismissing this entire question with a clumsy,... Read more
Sentimental Claptrap #4: Black and White Quantifiers of Faith Oh, man. This is the one that I react to with all the tell-tale bluster of a guilty conscience. When I converted, terms like “cafeteria Catholic” and “Kennedy Catholic” were tossed off as matter-of-fact inversions of the “faithful Catholic” or “traditional Catholic” I would undoubtedly strive to be. This is not exactly because my friends at UD were self-righteous and judgmental, just as I know those terms aren’t always used in... Read more
Barefoot and Pregnant
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