How Pokemon Go Saved My Summer

I'm not very good at sticking to a schedule. I know this is the least shocking news ever to anyone who read my blog regularly before my posting became so irregular, but anyway, it's true. It's especially true this summer.Usually in the summer we go to Texas, which is great for me because I'm forced to adopt the schedule of whoever we stay with. Since we alternate between my parents and the Ogre's parents, this is a schedule created by responsible adults, which I deeply appreciate.This … [Read More...]

Moving Blues

Oh man, I realize now that the picture in my last post is less humorous and more alarming, given that it was followed by an extended absence with no explanation. I promise I did not drink myself under the table. We just moved.Actually, we moved twice. We moved to a temporary place and then to a new house, and we're still settling in, and I deactivated (then reactivated) my facebook account, so I've kind of a transitional state. Some people might call it a midlife crisis, but I … [Read More...]

If You’re Wondering How My Whole 30 Is Going

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If You’re Wondering How My Whole 30 Is Going

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Last week ended in a literal shitstorm.First, there was all kinds of crazy stuff going on with the selling of the house (the bold is the best I can do to communicate the doomsday music that plays in my head every time I think about it). Then there was a very long conversation with a student loan … [Read More...]

Conversations with the Ogre

The Ogre: "What's wrong?"Me: *sob* "Nothing. I don't want to talk about it, because I really need to be a grown-up and just learn to deal with my own spectacular failures at life, and everything."The Ogre: "..."Me: "Plus, you won't be able to fix it because it's my own stupid … [Read More...]

A Miraculous Machine

YOU GUYS.A man just came to my house and brought me a machine that washes my dishes for me.Sounds crazy, right? But here's proof:Truly, there is nothing like spending nearly a month without a dishwasher to make you realize that we live in the future, and it absolutely is all it's … [Read More...]

Surprised by Joy

I don't even know if this thing works anymore, but I'll give it a try.Hello, BlogLand! I'm alive and all. Sorry for disappearing. I have a litany of (actually valid) excuses, but none of them really matter as much as this:The sweetest and most adorable baby ever born.Really, I … [Read More...]

Stormageddon Ascendeth

Introducing Isaac Christopher Charles Alexander, born on Thursday, January 21 at 1:03 pm. He is huge -- 8 lbs, 14 oz. Whoever guessed that he'd be 9 lbs was pretty much dead on, which is a pound and a half bigger than any of my other babies. He's also the calmest, squishiest, and most precious … [Read More...]

Having Faith in the Midst of Fear

Well, we had an exciting weekend.On Thursday evening I had a talk with our pediatrician, who was VERY CONCERNED that we were choosing to have the baby at a birth center. Normally I would just brush aside concerns about uterine rupture and oxygen deprivation, not because I'm an idiot or anything, … [Read More...]

Virtual Baby Shower for Really Real, Really Big Baby

37.5 years weeks pregnant today. People keep asking me how I'm feeling, and because it's impolite to answer, "like a bowling ball is about to fall out of of my ladyparts", I keep asking them if they've read Midnight's Children. Mostly they haven't -- which is awkward, because then I have to explain … [Read More...]

Minion Monday

So, my kids are pretty freakin' fantastic. I know this, but sometimes they are all so awesome at the same time that I get overwhelmed by it, and have to write it down. These are just a few moments of their adorableness in the last 12 hours.Last night, 8 pmThe minions (jumping out of a … [Read More...]

The Most Essential Thing New Mothers Need

Well, Christmas break is nearly over - thank. the. Lord.It's not that I don't love spending time with my kids - I really, really do. (I might love the luxury of not setting an alarm even more.)  Nevertheless, I'm ready for them to return to school and for life to return to its rhythm, so I can … [Read More...]

Pie-Face (We Are Idiots)

This morning, I was on the phone with a friend when she asked if I was joining the "pie-face craze". I was like, wha? "But seriously, what did you just say?" I asked."Pie-Face," she repeated. "It's a game. Apparently it's the most sought-after toy this Christmas, and all the moms on the Naples … [Read More...]

Conversations with the Ogre

The Ogre: "Wow, that thing is really...impressive."Me: "You mean, my stomach?"The Ogre: "Yeah. It's just enormous."Me: "This is the fifth time it's been this enormous. I would have thought you'd be over the surprise."The Ogre: "But normally the rest of you gets bigger along with it, … [Read More...]