Conversations with the Ogre

Me: "Liam Alexander, stop taking your penis out of your underwear and put on a pair of shorts!"Liam: "But Mom, I didn't take it out this time, it just camed out by itself!"Me: *squick*The Ogre: "See? Even at that age, they have a mind of their own." … [Read More...]

Minion the 5th 14 weeks

All Parenthood is #UnplannedParenthood

This is our 5th unplanned pregnancy. Yes, we are abysmal at NFP and super-fertile, which is a fantastic combination when you're swimming in student loan debt. But this time around, those two blue lines just weren't the usual catastrophe.I've never once had a positive pregnancy test that wasn't greeted with some combination of trepidation and despair. I know it's generally frowned upon to say that on the internet, lest my children one day come across this and have an existential crisis about … [Read More...]

clowns and karma

When Life Gives You Lice, Break Your Toe

Home, sweet home. It's so glorious to come home after an extended time away. I love getting reacquainted with my house, and I'm always pleasantly surprised by how pretty it is, and how much I love it. Even though it's not much, it's our home.I spent four glorious days reveling in the homey-ness of it all. I only unpacked what was necessary, and shoved the rest of the suitcases in a corner. The kids and the Ogre and I snuggled, read books, played games, watched Folly chase the tennis ball, … [Read More...]

When Life Gives You Lice, Break Your Toe

Home, sweet home. It's so glorious to come home after an extended time away. I love getting reacquainted with my house, and I'm always pleasantly surprised by how pretty it is, and how much I love it. Even though it's not much, it's our home.I spent four glorious days reveling in the homey-ness … [Read More...]

Why I Remain Catholic

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Door Number 9

Remember yesterday, when I put up an awesome picture my friend Elisa drew for me? Here it is again, in case you forgot:Well, Elisa has an Etsy shop called Door Number 9 where she sells all kinds of cool geekery. If you've been looking for a TARDIS tea wallet, a Spiderman crayon keeper, a St. … [Read More...]

Whole 30 Road Trip Blues

Sorry for the silence after my last update...it was not intentional and I'm not slipping back into whiskey land, promise! We took our annual summer road trip to Texas, and then I had to recover. A lot.Wait, first, I love y'all. I've seriously been crying over the comments on my last post. Not … [Read More...]

Oh Hi, I’m Alive

So I'm not dead or anything, in case you were wondering. I gather that my sudden and inexplicable absence from both the blog and facebook and <insert guilt here> my failure to respond to emails and even 99% of text messages has some people worried. I'm not gonna lie, I kinda felt equal parts … [Read More...]

Charming Charlie and Her Bad Daddy

Liam went to school with the girls this morning for a half-day of shadowing and testing, and Lincoln is still asleep. Instead of luxuriously enjoying the stillness and quiet, though, I'm wandering around the house, wondering what the heck to do with myself. So I figured I might as well tell you a … [Read More...]

The Still Point of the Turning World

The first time I went to a Catholic church on Good Friday, to celebrate the liturgy of the Lord's passion, I was confused by the empty holy water font, the darkness, and the absence of the Mass. The next year, when I went again as a Catholic, I was unnerved by it all. "But where is He?" I whispered … [Read More...]

Streams of milk or tears to offer

If you had really wanted to be strong, you would not have come from a woman’s womb. For messiahs are quarried from mountains where the sturdy and strong comes from stone.Are you not sorry to have despoiled your land by such limitations? I am weak, don’t you see; I only had streams of milk or … [Read More...]

Land of the Freeish, Home of the Tattlers

Good God Almighty, America, grow the eff up.Seriously, we have become a nation of tattlers. This week has been chock-full of the most pathetic national "discourse" I've ever seen. In the midst of the hysterical hysteria over the RFRA, Ryan Anderson's mic getting cut off and Memories Pizza going … [Read More...]

Little Girls Who Body-Shame

It finally happened -- the thing I've been dreading since I heard "it's a girl" for the first time. Another girl body-shamed my daughter.But not the daughter I expected, my oldest, the one wading her way through awkward prepubescence. No, it was my youngest, Charlotte, who's only in … [Read More...]

They Got Microchips in the Condoms, Everyone!

Don't use 'em!(PS: my mom is totally going to unfriend me for sharing this) … [Read More...]

Forgive Me Starbucks, For I Have Sinned

Starbucks really thought it could get America to confess our sins by writing about them on coffee cups.Exploiting collective guilt through overpriced beverages? Well played, Starbucks.Oh no, wait, that was terribly played. That was the most terrible play you've made since Chantico was going … [Read More...]


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