One of the most practical advice I have ever heard about forgiveness came from the sermon of our parish priest. When he talked about forgiveness, he compared it to letting a wound heal.
While he didn’t expound so much about it, the gist of his message was clear and very enlightening. It helped me to realize how we can forgive those who have offended us.
Here are some of the things I have realized:
1. Healing takes time
Just like a wound that doesn’t heal in a single day, forgiving someone is also a process that takes time. In this, we must have patience.
While we can resolve to forgive someone immediately, the feelings and other dynamics that come along with it need a certain period to adjust.
Because of this, we must not allow guilt and feelings of despair to take away our peace. We must instead offer all of our difficulties to God, trusting that through patience and perseverance, the wound will eventually heal.
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The fervent prayer of a righteous person is very powerful.” – James 5:16 (NABRE)
2. Healing comes when we allow it to happen
When we get hurt, it is natural to feel the pain deeply. It isn’t expected (even for Christians) to simply smile and avoid being hurt. We are not robots without feelings, nor are we puppets whose strings are pulled to automatically give an expected behavior.
With sin comes pain. Even if we’re not the ones who commit sin, we are affected by it. What we have control over is our subsequent reaction to this hurt.
Do we allow this hurt to keep on growing within our hearts? Do we let it fill us with anger and thoughts of revenge?
Wallowing in the hurt is like touching the wound again and again, never letting it heal but always making sure that the wound stays fresh.
In order to forgive, we must let the healing process to take place.
“Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil.” -Ephesians 4:26-27 (NABRE)
3. Healing comes when we seek the physician’s help
There are some wounds that are too deep to simply wait for healing. Someone must apply the right medicine to reinforce the healing process. In some cases, a bandage may be necessary to stop the bleeding. A doctor may even be called for immediate stitching of the cut.
When we forgive, we must also seek the Great Physician who is our Lord Jesus Christ. He alone can help us when the pain we feel is so deep it tears our very hearts apart and we don’t even know where to begin.
“He heals the brokenhearted,
and binds up their wounds.”
– Psalm 147:3 (NRSVCE)
Let God give you the grace you need so you can let go of the overwhelming emotions that you feel.
Why must we persist in asking for help from those who have hurt us in the first place? Let us instead ask Him who has the power to see us through. Surrender all of your hurts and resentments to Him and ask Him to help you find healing and peace.
Healing Our Wounds
God knows our hurts. He knows the many sleepless nights we have spent trying to let go of our resentments.
Let Him help you heal those wounds. He is the one who can restore your broken heart.
Even the best of people may fail us. But God will never forsake us. Didn’t He take the sins of the whole world upon His shoulders and pay for all of our sins upon the cross?
Let go and let God take care of everything. He is the healer who can wipe all of your tears away.
“But he was pierced for our sins, crushed for our iniquity. He bore the punishment that makes us whole, by his wounds we were healed.” – Isaiah 53:5 (NABRE)
Jocelyn Soriano is the author of “My Little Book on Forgiveness.”
You may also want to read “Why Forgiving Others Feels So Hard—And How to Start.”
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