Drat that Scrat, in his eternal search for the perfect acorn, he causes a whole lot of unintended trouble, in this case Continental Drift itself. Who knew? And who knew that there was somewhere out there a Scratlantis as well? These and other revelations are unveiled before our not so 3D eyes in this latest one hour and 34 minute extended cartoon, which I saw in Real 3D (causing Scrat’s already long snout to become like Pinocchio’s).
However, before we say something about that, what about the warm up cartoon– about Maggie Simpson’s visit to the Ayn Rand Toddler Care Center! Yes you heard me right. And this baby care center not only has a TSA like entrance screening but segregates children into GIFTED and NOT SO MUCH (in accord with Rand’s philosophy). I am no fan of the Simpsons cartoons, but in this case their brand of satire worked perfectly to poke holes in the Randian balloon quite effectively. It is rather amazing how many Americans in the last decade have swallowed the cod liver oil that is Randian anthropology, economics, and philosophy as if it were the Gospel Truth. Not to worry— Maggie Simpson to the rescue to show that those who start out caterpillars can still become butterflies.
But back to our main feature. This is perhaps the funniest children’s movie of the summer, even though it seems inevitable these days that it will be sprinkled with fart, booger, and vomit jokes unnecessarily. But in this installment we have the added fun of Wanda Sikes playing Syd’s not ready for prime time Granny, not to mention mammoth romance involving the teenager Peaches, and her various potential boy toys. Manny (Ray Romano) continues his role of the over-protective Dad, while Queen Latifah continues hers of being the understanding Mom. Along the way there are some good sight gags, and some funny one liners In the ongoing father daughter sparring match we have the following exchange:
Peaches: “So tell me when exactly will I be allowed to hang out with boys?”
Manny: “When I’m dead, plus three days, just to make sure I’m dead.”
Aha, you may be saying, but what about the plot??? Alas, here we are adrift, and we run into a bunch of characters that fit more naturally in a Johnny Depp movie—- pirates (sailing icebergs no less). The biggest surprise is Peter Dinklage (of recent Game of Thrones fame) playing Captain Gutt!
The basic story, such as it is, is that Manny and some of his chums are separated from his family by the onset of continental drift, and through many trials and tribulations seeks to be reunited with the family. But if we ask what sort of family it is, the answer is a ‘blended’ family, and blended in several senses since the mammoths were raised in part by possums and sleep by hanging by their tails from a tree. In short, this is a family that would never actually hang out together if nature was in charge of this film. Sabertooth tigers don’t hang out with sloths and mammoths, unless of course they are looking for a full course meal. I would rate the story perhaps marginally better than the last installment of this franchise, but nowhere near as good as the first or second ones. I have a further complaint. Not only is the plot neither suspenseful nor very interesting, but the music is basically uncredited reuse of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy from his Ninth Symphony. Beethoven should at least have gotten some credit, not his sampler in chief.
Is this movie ‘safe’ for children? Sure. Is it good family fun? Mostly. But if you want something profound or worth chewing on as an adult viewer of the film— concentrate on the warm up cartoon.
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