If you are old enough to remember Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker and the Praise the Loot (err…. Lord) Club, and the Jessica Hahn scandal, all courtesy of a little place just south of my home in Charlotte N.C. then you may remember that the Bakkers could rightly be called world-class prosperity Gospel scam artists. And guess what—– their back, and selling survival kits for the Apocalypse. Here is the link to the story……
Among my favorite items they are hawking are—– “Time of Trouble Beans, which consists of 14 totes full of black bean burger mix for $3,000 and End of the World Biscuits, food items include End of the World Gravy and Kevin’s Krazy Lasagna. Viewers can get an assortment of other survival gear including a Bakker’s Dozen Extreme Canteen Kit that consists of 13 packs of ponchos, thermal blankets, glow stick and whistles for $500.”
These all seem especially appropriate as Christmas gifts and if you make the donations to Jim and Tammy Faye this will send them into raptures of delight, so there is a double benefit, no doubt. I guess they figured that they could do better than the Mormon canned goods approach to food for times of Tribulation. As for me I think I could come up with some better Apocalyptic survival items like: 1) heavenly hash, or 2) angel food cake, or, if you are expecting to be on the wrong side of the apocalypse 3) devil’s food cake, or 4) deviled ham (not to be confused with barbecue which is the divine swine of course).
Whether you follow my suggests or those of the Bakkers the outcome may well be the same as Gary Larson once suggested…..
Just a little food for thought here at Christmas time…… maybe Santa would like a change from milk and cookies this year….
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In