Fasting from Complaints

“I think you need to do an experiment.”

The suggestion came from my wife, and I could tell by her tone that I should pay attention. She continued, “I think you should try to stop complaining completely for three days.” I took a deep breath—this wasn’t something I wanted to hear. It meant I had developed a bad habit. I had become a complainer. At first, I wanted to defend myself. I wanted to tell her all the reasons why my complaints were justified, but this would have proved her point. Instead, I looked at her and told her I thought she was right and that I would start the experiment now.

From that point on, I made a concerted effort to go three days without complaining. I quickly realized that complaining about how I was feeling came very naturally. I complained when my wife did something I didn’t like. I complained when the kids didn’t respond to me. I complained when I had to get up with a crying child at night. As I recognized and stopped this behavior something amazing happened. I started to see situations differently. I began to see the challenges of life as opportunities rather than barriers. 

I think this might be what James is getting at when he writes:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

Complaining allows us to side-step the work of God in our life. It keeps us from receiving the grace that we need to grow, because we refuse to see ourselves with the potential that God sees in us. Instead, we limit our identity to that of a victim. Today I want to challenge you in the same way my wife challenged me: take some time to fast from complaining. Watch your attitude and words in the coming days, and when you feel tempted to complain, instead lean into God’s grace to face the challenge ahead. 