Why Are Evangelicals Feeding The TikTok Croc?

Feeding wild animals teaches them to treat you as a food source. Or as the food itself. So, why are Evangelicals feeding the TikTok Croc?

On a recent vacation, our Mexican resort boasted wild monkeys, coatis, and crocodiles. The sign said not to feed the animals. We saw what happened when tourists ignored the signs and fed the monkeys and coatis. Those hungry creatures came to associate humans with food, accosting them from the restaurants to the beachfront. What would happen if they fed the crocodiles! Fortunately, all the tourists had that one figured out.

But this makes me wonder—why have Evangelicals not learned the same lesson? Why are they feeding the crocodiles?

The Tick-Tock Croc

In Disney’s 1953 classic film “Peter Pan”, based on the novel of the same title by J.M. Barrie, apparently the notorious pirate Captain Hook can’t read the signs. In a swordfight with the captain, the boy who never grew up cuts off the pirate’s hand and throws it to a crocodile.

This is why the brigand wears a hook in place of his hand. The beast so loves the taste of pirate flesh that he relentlessly pursues Hook in hopes of more. But the outlaw can always hear the “tick-tock” sound of his own watch in the lizard’s belly, alerting him to the predator’s presence.

The TikTok Croc

Unfortunately, Evangelical Christians can’t read the signs, either. These signs that say, “Don’t feed the politicians!” are posted in plain sight. It’s not even like they’re overgrown with weeds and trees. No—they’re pretty ubiquitous in American culture. Sayings like “separation of church and state,” “wall of separation,” “no establishment of religion,” and “religious freedom” warn against religious institutions feeding the politicians, and vice versa.

When churches and politicians ignore these signs, it all seems cute and innocent—like monkeys and coatis adorably begging for snacks. But you know what they say: “It’s all fun and games until somebody loses a hand.” After that, Disney shows you what will happen. The TikTok Croc (you know who I mean) keeps coming back for another bite!

Never Smile at a Crocodile

If it weren’t obvious enough not to feed predatory animals, Disney helps us understand it with a song. Disneyfandom.com says:

“Never Smile at a Crocodile” is a novelty song written for the film Peter Pan, though it famously appears in instrumental form in the final film as the theme for Tick-Tock the Crocodile. It is the most famous song ever deleted in Disney history, though an instrumental version is played whenever Tick-Tock appears. The version with lyrics appears on Disney Sing Along Songs: Under the Sea, sung by Mark Miller and Richard Pursell.

I first encountered this song when I purchased the Disney Sing Along Songs VHS for my children (now grown). It’s important enough to share the lyrics with you, from musixmatch.com:

Lyrics of Never Smile at a Crocodile by Frank Churchill

Never smile at a crocodile

No, you can′t get friendly with a crocodile

Don’t be taken in by his welcome grin

He′s imagining how well you’d fit within his skin

Never smile at a crocodile

Never tip your hat and stop to talk a while

Never run, walk away, say goodnight, not goodday

Clear the aisle but never smile at Mister Crocodile

Unfortunately, White Evangelical Americans have bought into the crocodile tears of a President who cries, “They’re persecuting me!” They’ve warmed up to the crocodile smile that promises protection and provision. They’ve been taken in by his welcome grin—but he’s imagining how well they’d look within his skin.

Why Are Evangelicals Feeding the TikTok Croc?

In Disney’s portrayal of Captain Hook, the pirate is no fool. He matches wits and swords with Peter Pan and almost emerges victorious. Hook plots and schemes and entraps. He is a notorious villain—but one thing he isn’t is a fool. He knows better than to feed the crocodile on purpose. It’s Peter Pan (the hero) who cuts off the pirate’s hand and feeds it to the Tick-Tock Croc. Hook would certainly never have done this of his own accord.

Yet, Evangelicals are cutting off their hand to spite their arm and feeding it to the TikTok Croc in the hopes that the diminutive dragon will be their protector. They think they’re offering a small morsel—but if they’re gaining the world, it’s at the cost of their own soul. They’re convinced that Donald Trump will save the church’s life from the secular and pagan world that wages war against it.

Jesus’s Warning Sign

But Jesus holds up a warning sign that says:

“For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? Or what will they give in return for their life (Matthew 16:25-26)?”

Jesus’s warning is clear: The church saves its own life by gaining the world (through the world’s power structure) at the cost of its own soul. This is more costly than losing a hand. It’s more like the church losing its heart.

Willing to Die

What’s a better way? Jesus answers this question. Be willing to lose. The church must be willing to lose its own life for Jesus’s sake.

What does this mean? If the church is to be like Jesus, then it must be willing to die. If that means a pagan and secular society overruns the church as it fears, so be it! Anything that’s Spirit-filled will be resurrected, and anything that isn’t—well, good riddance to it! Whatever of the church remains will have been worth keeping. Anything of Christianity that could be killed by secularism obviously wasn’t of God, or it couldn’t have been destroyed anyway.

Forget Etiquette

The Disney song continues to discuss the tendency of decent people to negotiate politely with crocodiles:

You may very well be well bred

Lots of etiquette in your head

But there’s always some special case, time or place

To forget etiquette

If there is anything the Church has done, it has trained us to be nice. Our parents and Sunday school teachers have taught us to just be sweet, gentle, meek, and mild, like Jesus. So, when facing a pirate or a crocodile, Christians tend to smile. We want to make nice. We may even want to cuddle up to worldly power in the hopes it may protect us instead of eating us.

But we must not do that. It’s time to forget etiquette. Like Jesus cleansing the temple, maybe it’s time we overturned some tables. Like Jesus denouncing the scribes and pharisees, we need to stand against corrupt power structures. We need to call them out for what they are. We need to speak truth to power, even if we get crucified for it. It’s not unloving to forget etiquette—it’s taking a stand for the Truth.

Only One Savior

The truth is—the Church has only one Savior, and he’s not Donald Trump. No, the TikTok Croc can’t save you with his toothy smile and his art of the deal. He can’t rescue you with his red hats or veiled racist slogans. Because he’s already had a taste for the Church’s blood, and he’s hungry for more.

Hopefully, those who have ears to hear will discern the wristwatch (or is it a ticking bomb?) inside the Croc’s belly. They’ll see that ancient serpent’s tail swishing through the water from a mile away and will have the good sense to respond before it’s too late.

Instead of following the diminutive dragon, the Church must learn to fly. Now’s the time to make the choice. Will we follow worldly power and kowtow to pirates and crocodiles? Or will we follow the Eternal One who never grows old? We must take the second star to the right, and straight on til morning.