Pride and Pregnancy

Resolved: Pregnancy is God’s gift to us to enshrine the virtues of modesty and humility in our lives.

I fought it. Man did I fight going to the basement to retrieve that box marked “maternity clothes.” I reveled in the memories of myself as the 7 month-pregnant 21 year old Army officer whom people didn’t even know was pregnant. I clung fast to made up deadlines in my mind — no, I will not don maternity clothes until after my 20-week ultrasound. I fought it hard. Then, last week – week 14 of this pregnancy -I saw the sad indentation of a jeans button on my, forcibly compliant, belly-skin. I thought of the innocent new baby in there wondering why she had to have a metal button eating up her valuable living space for the sake of my own pride and ego. I chucked ’em. All jeans, all tight-fitting shirts away. Constricting shoes, boxed. Anything with a button or latch – shelved for the next 9? months. My mother helped me take the hurdle, she dragged the heavy box of maternity clothes up from the basement and dropped it in the middle of our living room floor. There they sat. And I am 14 weeks pregnant. Our new baby is the size of an apple and she deserves comfort and respect, who cares if the neighborhood kids have already started to say, “look, Mom, she is already so preeeegnant.”

Well, as I reluctantly opened the lid to that brown moving box, something miraculous happened. I felt the grace of something bigger then myself pour out of that box. I felt Mother Mary’s humility and wisdom warm my soul as I was reminded of cloaking my daughter and son in the same garmets which I would now again wear. I could almost smell the peace of maternal bliss amongst those tent-like shirts and elasticized pants. I wanted to bury my face in the blessings of that box. The reality that this box, not the liposuction ads in our local paper or the itsy teeny bikins of modern beaches, was my reality overwhelmed me with joy. I was granted the instantaneous wisdom that this body isn’t mine anyway. It is on loan, and I better darn well use it to creat the healthiest possible environment for the lives that will burgeon within, or else I have bought into pride and materialism. My newest baby deserves better than that. She deserves a grateful mother whose heart is on its way to purification and whose stretch marks are too insignificant of a detail to even cross her mind