Ab workouts?

It’s been a while since I’ve been pregnant, 20 months to be exact.  I’ve run a 1/2 marathon, I’m generally fit, and I’m happily my “regular” weight, if there is such a thing.  While I am tall and thin, I’ve never had the most flattering mid-section, and after delivering 5 babies, I don’t expect to get many compliments on my abs.  But not getting a compliment and brushing off an insult are two very different things.

On Easter Sunday I wore a new dress.  Bright and flowery and flowing and cute, I dressed it up with some pearls and felt really great.  The dress gathered in the front, just under my chest, and fell freely to my knees.  It *could* have been a maternity style dress, but it wasn’t.  I was standing in my parents kitchen when their neighbor approached me and said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but are you expecting again?”  Turning beat red I said, “No, I am not.”  (As an aside, there really is no good way to take this comment and so there is a general rule that you should NEVER ask a woman if she is expecting based on the look of her belly.)  Not looking the least bit embarrassed, she said, “Oh, good.  I don’t know how you could handle another kid, I can’t even deal with my three.  You must have a little extra left over there, just like me.”  I’m not making this up.  She really said that.  And I’ll just add that the woman was pretty overweight, and the majority of her weight was centered in her mid-section.

I suddenly felt very insecure.  I dealt with this feeling by telling my sister, mom, dad, and my husband about her comments.  They all let me know how rude she was and tried to give me a pep talk.  I, on the other hand, started an ab workout routine that night.

This past Sunday I wore the dress again, and had two ladies ask me if I was expecting.  They were embarrassed when I said no.

I have decided to burn the dress.  (I’m kidding, I am simply going to put it away with my maternity clothes because apparently it makes me look pregnant.)

For two whole days I believed it must just be the dress (but I kept doing the ab workouts, just in case).  After all, I was wearing the same dress all three times.  And then last night I had the following conversation with my children.

Charlie (age 5):  “Mom, you look pregnant.”

Me:  “Charlie, that isn’t a nice thing to say.  When you tell someone they look pregnant, you are really telling them that their belly is big and they look fat.  It hurts my feelings because I am not pregnant.”

Charlie:  “Sorry Mom.”

Gianna (age 7):  “Well you only look like you are pregnant with a little baby.”

So I guess I need some more serious ab workouts.  Any suggestions?