The world seems primed to demand vengance. No one wants the peace the King of Peace offers, instead they want the pound of flesh with extra poundings on the side. We want the two eyes for an eye, two teeth for a tooth, and a thousand cuts for a single wounding word. We want infinite payback for momentary offenses, and permanent pain for all past and present and future anticipated sufferings. In short, the world demands the right to be cross, rather than to take it up and lay it at the cross.
And so I imagine purgatory, which I know is a place of purgatory but the how of purgatory is the real question, To be able to bear the face of God, to be in the full presence of the Trinity, one must long to stare into the heart of love, and so one must come with a loving heart, a heart that echoes eternity.
The joy of the fullness of commuity and communion requires that we trust God’s judgment about ourselves and all others we encounter. As such, I have had in my mind for some time now, a vision of purgatory as a small clean room with a door, an open doorway, a table and a chair. When we arrive and find purgatory is needed, God does not explain the test of it, only the requirements. The door does not open except when we open it. We are to open the door to anyone who asks. Anyone who shows up in the open doorway may proceed provided they ask. We do not tell them to ask but we must decide whether or not to open the door.
God loves us despite our not side quests, despite our distractions and extraness, despite our poor singing voices, despite our propensity to sin and to fall into error. God longs to extend His infinite mercy into every heart, but it is a gift we must mirror in our own hearts to fully receive. “Blessed are the merciful, mercy shall be theirs.” Will we tire of letting people in? Will we test those who ask? Will we demand something of them to let them enter? We are given the great gift of opening the door to Heaven for anyone who asks. However, we cannot ask for ourselves. We can only await the invitation to enter.
The person we refuse, is the reason we are not yet invited in.
Either we trust in the absolute and infinite nature of God’s justice and mercy, or we do not.
The whole of salvific history is a story telling us over and over again (because apparently we need it) to trust in God’s love over our own understanding and preferences. The original sin, came from our first parents not trusting God’s plan to be all good, even the parts we did not yet understand. Abraham demonstrated absolute trust in God in his journey to the mountain with his son Isaac. Moses likewise did so in leading the people for fourty years in the desert. Mary, the blessed mother showed us abandonment to God’s will, and Saint Faustina gives us the simple prayer, “Jesus, I trust in you.”
If we trust in God, perhaps we figure out after what might be eons of opening the door, to not shut it. It is in that moment that we understand, the room all along was our heart, which God requires to be willing, and God is willing to wait until we understand this. It is in this moment, that we will hear and see Jesus standing at the frame, knocking, inviting us deeper in. It is the moment when, we will have been humbled enough in our understanding of ourselves to realize, the person we should be most surprised to find in heaven is ourselves.
I’ve been thinking about this fundamental reality a lot lately, because people seem to be convinced they know who has been convicted and condemned –and that is not something the church proclaims. It only proclaims those who we find compelling evicence proving they are in paradise, building the kingdom of God. We were made to be merciful, to be saints, to reveal the more of God to a hurting world.God loves us despite our not side quests, despite our distractions and extraness, despite our poor singing voices, despite our propensity to sin and to fall into error. God longs to extend His infinite mercy into every heart, but it is a gift we must mirror in our own hearts to fully receive. “Blessed are the merciful, mercy shall be theirs.”
Which leaves us with the very uncomfortable question (and the reason for the title), who would we refuse?
Yes. That’s the conclusion.
You’re going to hate me.
Love is an open door.
I’m going to spend some time in purgatory for this one.
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