What is wrong with me?

Ok, maybe I don’t want you to answer that question.  I’m going to narrow it down a little, and simply ask why is it that every time I try to open one of these containers, it looks like this?

Don’t worry. I am usually able to purchase one of these with a twist top. I avoid the above style like the plague. And when I have no other options, I don’t panic. I wait for Mr. Red to come home and then ask VERY nicely if he will open the container for me.