These days I see a lot of proclamations that I don’t find very useful in spite of their popularity.
There isn’t a single day when I don’t come across self-empowering statements à la ‘if people don’t do this and that in relation to you, if they don’t recognize you, if they insult you, if they are mean to you and critical, they are not your people’.
Here are two reasons why I don’t like the direct call for the dismissal of the people ‘who are not your people.’
In saying, ‘you are not my people’, you place too much focus on the other, and what the other does and doesn’t do in relation to you. What is the purpose of this concern with the other?
In saying ‘you are not my people’ what you are actually saying is that you believe in a world that keeps us separate and that you’re acting according to this belief. What is the purpose of this separation?
Not only is the dismissal of others dangerous – we have a rather nasty history of separatist talk – but it is also a testimony that you worship the world of dualism: you against the other, man against woman, Pagan against Christian, smart against idiot. While our individual natures may differ, in quality we differ not. We are all humans.
Can you hear what you’re saying?
Here is what I propose in case you feel like saying it or agreeing with all who promulgate this inconsiderate statement ‘you are not my people.’
First you think about the purpose of your resentment: ‘The other doesn’t get me, therefore the other is not my people.’
Then you make a conscious decision to reject the statement ‘you are not my people’ and replace it with a conscious decision to value your time.
You can decide not to make any investment in people who waste your time. This is different than dismissing people on the grounds that they don’t support you, don’t love you, don’t behave nicely to you, don’t recognize you, don’t see you, and so on.
Making this conscious decision to value your time removes your focus and concern with the other, including all your projections about the other. Without such concern you are free you to act in the world on the premise of your strength, not your fantasy of separation.
Cards and Magic
Ask your cards:
‘How can I value my time and not be concerned with how others value their time, including the time they waste on throwing whatever shit at me?’
Create a ritual based on what the cards say, and ask your spiritual guides to help you remove the illusion of separation from your perception of your own place in the world and your own role in it.
What you want to learn is to teach yourself the art of being crystal clear on how you position yourself vis-à-vis yourself in relation, not vis-à-vis yourself as a separate self behind doors and self-imposed boundaries.
Here is an example from my own conscious decision to not invest time in people I don’t personally know, but who think they know me simply because I have a public face.
I do not dismiss these people as ‘not my people’ when they send me weird messages, asking me to marry them, and demanding that I respond to their heartfelt declaration that there’s nothing they want more than for me to be the mother of their children.
Never mind that I’ve been in a relationship for 20 years, that I’m an old hag, and that I have made the conscious decision in my maiden days to not have children either in this lifetime or any other lifetime.
The purpose of this exercise is to see to what extent the cards validate my suspicion of popular sayings, or more concretely here, the usefulness of separation and dismissal.
Then there’s the fun in building my own grimoir, by devising a ritual in the name of folk magic.
In line and mirror reading
Here’s what my cards said in a string of five, about how I can value my time, and be free of concern with other people’s time.
Five Batons, The Sun, Two Coins, Queen of Cups, King of Cups.
Now this was the reading in line, straightforward and without complication.
If we consider the mirror images, we can also say the following, starting with the center card, the Two Coins.
When two are bonded by fire (coins are crafted by fire), there is no separation. The Sun is to the Queen of Cups a flow of heat. The Five Batons is to the King of Cups no contradiction.
For my ritual, I decided to take my magical Rowan tree twig in the form of a claw, and place it inside a circle made by a red string surrounded also by 5 cowrie shells.
So the elements in the cards are represented: air (batons rise in the air, rowan tree), water (cups, cowrie shells), fire (sun and coins), earth (red chord for ribbon spun of wooly sheep).
I then crafted this spell:
You are my people, but not my path. May the Rowan Tree show you the way.
You are my people, but not my time. May the River of Memory show you the present.
You are my people, but not my desire. May the Magical Coin teach you the sovereignty of heads and the humbleness of tails.
You are my people, but not my fear. May the Magical Chord place you in infinity.
I can disclose that the purpose of engaging in such activities is twofold: Firstly, they teach you to be mindful of your language. You don’t just utter words because others also utter them.
Secondly, they place you in a space between the worlds. In this liminal space, when you recite your spell or your mantra, you liberate yourself of all your thoughts. You liberate yourself of all emotion. In this space you see things clearly, for you are beyond attachments. As such you are not bothered by the ways of the world, for you are the whole world already.
If you want to learn more about how you can read cards in a sharp and precise manner, and also let the cards inspire you to create mindful and magical language games and tricks, you may want to hop on board of Cards and Magic. Registration has just opened today. Join the magical folks gathering.