Building Trustworthy Containers for Magick

As some of my magick starts to return to in-person gatherings, I remember how I need to begin the work with a strong container.

Not surprising. But this is in addition to casting circles. I want to create strong containers with the people I work with, even if I’ve known them for years.

This is akin to boundaries and less than parameters. It is a foundation upon which magick can be built, expanded, and surrendered to.

It starts with trust.

Moving at the Speed of Trust

The title of this section is a quote from ‘Emergent Strategy’ by adrienne maree brown. (If you haven’t read that book, get to it.) In short, she speaks about the way that groups need to move at the speed of trust in order to make better decisions.

(But really, read the book.)

Here’s what I think helps build trust in groups making magick (or other projects) together.

• Get to know each other – You don’t necessarily need to end up best friends and coven-for-life people at the end of magick together, but getting to know where folks are from, what they like (and don’t), what they are worried about, etc. can help create a familiarity that can support any workings you do together.
• Be clear about expectations – One thing that settles my prone-to-worry brain is knowing what is expected of me in a group. How many times are we meeting? For how long? What will we be talking about? What should I be doing outside of the group? What am I expected to do when I’m at the event and not actively doing the ‘magick’ part? Clarity around this allows for negotiations too, in case something is not aligned with what I can or am willing to do.
• Set boundaries – Of course, it’s wise for me to figure out what my boundaries are. What will I and what will I not do? The way I hold boundaries is that these are for ME to hold in place. These are NOT for someone else to remember. Of course, that would be nice, but in the end, I am the one responsible for these.
• Revisit what’s working and what isn’t – Frequent check-ins about how things are going helps me better understand if I’ve gotten off track so I can course correct. Or maybe what seemed like a good idea isn’t working. Things are allowed to change.
• Be willing to give a second chance – Going hand in hand with course corrections is the willingness to be open to believing people are doing their very best with the skills and capacity they have. Now, there is nuance here. If there is a pattern of agreement, break an agreement, promise to do better, repeatedly causing harm, that warrants a longer conversation.

Stronger Magick Through Clear Relationships

For me, the magick is stronger when the team is, well, a team. I will not be besties with everyone once the time together is over, but I have been lucky to have had really strong connections with my magickal partnerships.

And that’s because I’ve gotten better at creating trustworthy containers.

Trust isn’t instantaneous for me (anymore). It’s built through repetition. It’s built through consistency and communication.

It’s being willing to navigate so things can arrive where they promised to go.

***

How do you build trust in groups? Or relationships?

What did I miss or forget?

What have you learned?

***