Taking down the recycling, walking the dog and braving the lower than forty degrees which makes it unpleasant for me, weather, my thoughts turned to what am I doing? Not why am I living in a temperate zone where the weather can think about snow but not snow, and there is a need for gloves and thick socks and puffy coats? But what should I be doing spiritually? How do I grow as a human being, challenge myself to be less about me?
What did I need to do? Pray. But it’s hard to pray when you’re not sure what you are praying for. So I started working on the rosary in between going up and down the driveway, pulling trash cans up and bringing recycling bins down. How had a house of twelve dwindled down so much?
My oldest couldn’t do it, he broke his foot. The next oldest spent the day today managing the dog and watching the house while we repair the basement, so she’d done her time. Our third is in Chicago, our fourth moved to Baltimore for graduate school, and our fifth and sixth are in College Park at UMD, working on graduate school and college perspectively. Seventh is in Baltimore as a freshman in college, and the senior in high school was working the curtains for the school play back stage, Paul was taking a shower and our youngest had basketball practice. So it was down to me, and my husband who was at the grocery store snatching up some ingredients for our dinner.
Part of what my soul felt, was the recognition, I’d fallen out of spiritual shape. The same way someone notices when they’ve let themselves avoid the gym to the point of losing the will to start at all, to think about it, to even attempt something. The Holy Spirit taps us. It’s the reminder to act, to assess, to do other than what is easy. I thought about my writing too. All of it suffered from what felt like sloth. I wrote but didn’t finish pieces. I prayed and came to mass, but my mind drifted in and out of all of it.
Fortunately, I do know that recognition is step one towards a healthier spiritual and physical life. We took the Vocations chalice this week, and we’ve been praying –but had not yet today, so that became the process for me discussing with God what I need to do, what I am doing, and what He wants of us. I sat considering what is it that we need in order to know what it is we should be doing?
It brings joy. It heals. It breaks open hearts. Vocations draw people to God. Additionally, vocations create community.
Get back to writing Sherry. Get back to prayer. Go, volunteer doing something –so that you are pouring out rather than draining in. Go to confession, and decide to finish what you start, even if you don’t feel like it’s what you originally wanted.
With that in mind, I opted to restart Small Success Thursday. It’s a habbit I had for years, writing on Thursday about all the things I felt gratitude for in the prior week. Sometimes it was a list. Sometimes it was a story. It helped me maintain a grateful heart in all things.
So this week I’m grateful for:
10) My mom being okay. Every day is a gift.
9) We made Pho –never did that before but it was delicious. I should have taken a picture but honestly, I don’t have instagram and don’t think that way about food. I’m not making it to take a picture. I’m making it to eat it.
8) Got to see two of my daughters and one of my sons last week that are off at College Park, Towson, and in Baltimore respectively.
7) Our basement is almost finished. (We started this mess in August).
6) Went to adoration this past week (last Friday).
5) Got a student who doesn’t come to school to show up two days in a row.
4) Read a book.
3) Made it to a doctor’s appointment.
2) We got the chalice for vocations this week.
1) Everyone will be here for Thanksgiving!
So I have much to be thankful for, much to celebrate, much to recognize –that God has showered me with gifts. Happy Small Success Thursday!
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