When does a pastor or church board or membership know when it’s time to discipline a church member? When do you know when it’s time to have them disfellowshipped?
The Matthew 18 Model
One of the most difficult things that a church has to do is to discipline a sinning church member. I don’t mean sin in general for if every church member had to be disciplined who ever sinned that would mean everyone would have to be, including the pastor and every church leader because all have sinned (Rom 3:23). The first step in having a church member disciplined is to have that church member be approached by someone privately. This is the first step of the Matthew 18 model of church discipline and is mentioned in Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” If this doesn’t work, this matter should still be kept private but take one or two others with you (at most) and do what Jesus says in Matthew 18:16 “if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.” Jesus tells us what to do next in Matthew 18:17 “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” This is the last step in church discipline. Hopefully they will take these steps in prayerful consideration of the matter and make certain that it is a sin that has not be repented of or confessed and that is serious enough that it could hurt the local body of believers and the witness of the church but what are some circumstances where this might be necessary?
When Discipline is Not Needed
If someone believes it is a sin for a church member to smoke or if they know that they consumes alcohol in the privacy of their own home and no one else is being hurt in the process, this is something that the church should not consider disciplining the member over. To do so is a form of legalism. In areas that are non-essential or where the Bible is silent, we should not impose our beliefs on others because Paul says that “each of us will give an account of ourselves to God” (Rom 14:12) so “let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean” (Rom 14:13-14). Paul declares that “whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves” (Rom 14:22).
If someone is doing something that is not mentioned in the Bible but they feel it is sin, then to them it is sin and they should stop doing whatever it is. Paul clarifies this by saying “everything that does not come from faith is sin” (Rom 14:23b). Paul was speaking about clean and unclean foods but the principle remains the same…if whatever the person is doing feels conviction in their own mind that it is sin, then it is sin to them but that doesn’t mean that others enter into judgment of that person because that is between them and God for as Paul says “each of us will give an account of ourselves to God” (Rom 14:12). It does not say they will have to give an account to others in the church because as Paul has written, “But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean” (Rom 14:14b).
When Discipline is Needed
God is not the author of confusion nor does He permit anyone in the church to be sinning a sin that hurts the testimony of the church and by extension, hurts the testimony of Christ Who is the Head of the Church. One area where discipline may be needed is when there is continuing gossip or someone is causing division in the church. Anything that destroys the unity, harmony, and holiness of the church is something that must be addressed in a disciplinary manner. For example, if someone is committing adultery and there are more than two witnesses who know for sure this is happening, then that person must be approached and if they refuse to repent, that person needs to be disciplined and if the two witnesses do not cause the person to stop then that person’s sin must be brought before the entire church. This is always done with the express purpose of causing the person to repent and confess it and cease from doing such a thing because that type of sin destroys the integrity of the church. Ongoing gossip also destroys the unity and harmony of the church. Any ongoing, continual sin that is un-repented of and where the sin is one that is clearly mentioned in the Bible, discipline must be carried out for the best interests of the church. Church leadership will be held responsible and is accountable before Christ because it is Christ’s church, not theirs.
When to Disfellowship Someone?
A last but necessary resort is when the person or persons refuse to repent of serious sin or sins where the church’s testimony is hurt or is being destroyed. Impenitent sin or sins of continual adultery, drug abuse, slandering others in the church through gossip, sharing confidential matters, doing someone financial harm then we are to follow what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 5:11 “But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.” When Paul says we are “not to keep company” with such people, he clearly means that they are to be treated as an unbeliever and this is with the hope that they would repent and be restored to the fellowship of the church. Paul tells the church at Thessalonica in 2 Thessalonians 3:14 “And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.” Paul says “Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple” (Rom 16:17-18). The idea is to “hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord” (1 Cor 5:5).
Some churches call it excommunication while others call it disfellowshipping but either way, it is so that “his (or her) spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord” so it is done in love for “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons” (Heb 12:6-8).
Conclusion
Church discipline is a painful but necessary process the can destroy the testimony of the church. It is intended to retain the integrity of the Body of Christ. Church discipline may have to lead to excommunication or disfellowshipping because it’s critical for the church because we are called to be holy as God is holy (1 Pet 1:15-16) and discipline, contrary to popular opinion, shows that the church cares for that individual. Parents who do not discipline their children are being negligent and unloving. The opposite of love is not hate…it is indifference or apathy. Discipline must always be done in love and is always in the best interests of the person or persons being disciplined and for the church as well. As the author of Hebrews testifies, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Heb 12:11).
Article by Jack Wellman
Jack Wellman is Pastor of the Mulvane Brethren church in Mulvane Kansas. Jack is also the Senior Writer at What Christians Want To Know whose mission is to equip, encourage, and energize Christians and to address questions about the believer’s daily walk with God and the Bible. You can follow Jack on Google Plus or check out his book Blind Chance or Intelligent Design available on Amazon